The Battlefield Series 3: Trusting Love (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 8

  “Really? Are you sure about that?” Carina asked.

  “Wait, why would she move out of here? This place will be all set in a few days and it’s livable despite the drainage situation which we’ll be taking care of this week as well,” Milton said.

  Jack crossed his arms in front of his chest.

  “What are you trying to do, Carina?” he asked straight out.

  “Jack.” Jesse said his name and Antonia looked at Carina and then at them. Carina stood up.

  “What do you mean, Jack?” she asked.

  He stepped closer and took her hand. She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her.

  “Why are you trying to push us away? I thought we were making some progress last night?”

  “We’re your guardians, Carina, you should be discussing any decisions and change of residency with us,” Jesse added from behind him.

  Carina swallowed hard.

  “It’s an option, that’s all, and I told you guys last night, I’m not ready for any kind of relationship right now.”

  “You’re scared, that’s all. Don’t do this. Don’t push us away or think that if you move a few blocks over into another cottage that it will keep us from seeing you, getting to know you and proving that we’re trustworthy,” Jack told her.

  He pulled her closer and held her hand and then reached out to caress her cheek. She closed her eyes and his heart raced.

  “Nice and slow, Carina. We’ll go as slow as you need, darling, but please, please don’t keep pushing us away like this.”

  She opened her eyes and he could see the emotion, the struggle she appeared to be going through.

  He wrapped his arm around her waist and she tightened up and pressed her hand against his chest.

  She stared at his badge and he felt pissed off at the son of a bitch that hurt her.

  He tilted her face up toward him, holding her firmly as he squinted at her.

  “I am not him. I’m a police officer, a soldier, and a man who takes his position very seriously. I respect women. I respect the law and my country. I want you to look at me in this uniform, baby, and know that I am not him. Do you understand me, baby?” he asked her and a stray tear rolled down her cheek, her feminine nose got all red and she swallowed hard, trying not to cry.

  “Tell me that you’ll try, sweetie. Tell me that you’ll really try to see it’s me, not him. That I will never hurt you like he did. Promise me,” he whispered firmly.

  “I promise,” she said and then pressed closer, wrapped her arms around his waist and he hugged her tight. He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of her shampoo and when he opened his eyes and looked at his brothers, they looked so damn serious and he knew they would all prove to her they were good men. Her men.

  As she started to pull back he cupped her cheeks and gave her a wink.

  “That’s my girl. I’ll see you in town later?” She nodded and he lowered down, pressed his lips to hers and kissed her tenderly.

  She stepped back and looked at Antonia, who was smiling softly with tears in her eyes.

  “I’m ready, Antonia.”

  “Okay, Carina. Let’s do this,” she said and that’s when Jack knew Carina was going to see Cesar. Trying not to follow or force his way into the situation to be there for her and learn her story and fears was the hardest thing he ever had to do.

  They said goodbye and left the cottage.

  “She’s going to see Cesar, isn’t she, Jack?” Jesse asked.

  He had his hands on his hips and looked at Milton and Jesse.

  “I believe so.”

  “Jack?” Milton looked at him and gave him the once over.

  “You handled that real well. You confronted her on the fear of your uniform and professional position but made her see that you understand and will help her get through those fears. She’ll try. I know she will,” Milton said.

  “I sure as hell damn hope so, because I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want her in our lives, in our beds and as our woman.”

  “Amen to that brother. Amen to that,” Jesse said.

  * * * *

  “That was incredible. My God, Carina, what the hell went down last night?” Antonia asked her and Carina looked downright emotional, then covered her face with her hands.

  “I can’t let my guard down with them. I just can’t.”

  “Don’t you like them? Scratch that. I know you like them. A lot. Why not give them a chance?”

  “I get all freaked out for all different reasons. I just can’t. I’m too scared. Things are too unstable and I don’t even know if I should follow my gut and run like hell or stay and take the biggest risk I could ever take. If it turns out to be the wrong choice, I won’t make it through it this time. I won’t.”

  “Whoa, slow down. Where is all this coming from? I mean I understand what happened to you back home. I know what that feeling of betrayal is like. You understand what happened to me and what Ray did. I questioned that love and connection I have with Cesar and his brothers and it nearly cost me my life. Jack, Milton, Jesse, and Nevin want you as their woman. They won’t think less of you because of the rape and assault. In fact, it’s pretty obvious they’re willing to go slow and let you see how trustworthy they are.”

  “I’m so confused, and like I mentioned to you, there was more that happened back home. More things I didn’t share and more questions about the town I grew up in and what’s really going on. When I was assaulted my own friends told me to accept Steven and Collin.”

  “Your grandparents didn’t. They helped you escape.”

  “They could be suffering for that right now. Do you know how hard it is not knowing if they’ve been physically harmed because of me? Not knowing if they’re dead or alive.”

  “Jesus, Carina, what the hell else was going on in that town? I mean murder?”

  “I don’t know. I’m rambling because I don’t know. When I can’t sleep at night I think of things. Remember little things that occurred from the time Steven and I started dating and even earlier. The point is, I can’t pretend I have a new life and am starting over when I’ll always be looking over my shoulder.”

  “I know that feeling all too well. It’s funny, though, how quickly I lost that feeling when my men were around me, protecting me, loving me. I think it will be the same for you, and once your men know what happened, they’ll be more protective. So if there is a chance that Steven and Collin are looking for you, then making your men, Cesar and the department aware of the danger will help if they actually show up here one day to take you back or do you harm.”

  Antonia pulled into the parking spot outside of the police station. Carina didn’t say a word.

  “Honey?” Antonia said and covered her hand with hers.

  “I don’t know if I believe that there are good, honest people here ready to protect me, a stranger in this town who could cause innocent men like Milton and his brothers to get hurt.”

  “Honey, you’re a member of this community. You’re cared for and adored by many and everyone in Repose has one another’s backs. They’ll support you and want to protect you. Let down your guard and you’ll see who is here for you and ready to hold your hand if need be.”

  She squinted at her and then Antonia smiled and nodded toward the side window. Carina looked and there was Amber. The tears struck Carina’s eyes and she opened the door and got out and Amber met her on the sidewalk.

  “Why are you here?” Carina asked as Antonia joined them.

  “What are best friends for?” she asked and then hugged her tight and Antonia chuckled.

  “Okay, enough of being scared and letting the demons run your life. Let’s do this,” Antonia said and took Carina’s one hand while Amber took the other and they headed into the police station ready to support their friend and help her to get that new life and the protection she truly deserved.

  * * * *

  Cesar ran his hand along his jaw as Carina sat in front of him in his office with Antonia and Amber
telling him about her life in Missouri. He was outraged as she spoke quickly, trying to get out all the things she remembered. He felt his blood pressure boiling as she told him about the party she was at, and how another man, Collin, began to touch her and her boyfriend, almost fiancé, allowed it.

  “I was so upset, Chief. I just wanted to get out of there. I didn’t want to talk to Steven or hear anything. So when he said he was heading to work I gave him the cold shoulder and he was pissed off at me. I went straight home to my apartment and cried my eyes out. He was my first lover. My best friend and he was going to be my husband,” she cried and Amber and Antonia consoled her. Amber reached for a tissue and handed it to Carina. Then Amber wiped her eyes and held a strong expression. These three women were close, and each shared heartbreaking experiences, including Amber.

  “I had to get out of there, and I thought about packing up my things, and how I would look for another job and I was so exhausted from crying and my head pounding that I fell asleep on my bed.”

  She wiped her eyes and her shoulders began to shake and then she looked at Antonia.

  “You can trust him, honey. He isn’t going to tell anyone,” she encouraged her and the chief expected what was coming. Or so he thought.

  “Go on, darling, let me know what happened. Help me to understand your fears so I can protect you,” he said to her.

  “It was strange. How I wasn’t fully with it because I was so distraught.” Carina looked toward the window and just stared as she spoke.

  “I think it was when the bed dipped that I realized I hadn’t imagined hearing the sounds but that someone was in my apartment. As I lifted up, strong arms grabbed me and pinned me down. I screamed and Collin gripped my throat with one hand.” She covered her throat with her hand and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

  She jumped up from the seat.

  “I can’t. I can’t, I’m sorry,” she cried and turned to leave but Cesar got up and so did Antonia and Amber.

  “Wait, honey. Wait.” Cesar stepped in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She was shaking, the poor thing. His gut twisted with anger at her boyfriend’s friend who broke into her apartment and assaulted her.

  “You don’t need to give me all the details, honey. You don’t. I get it. Collin broke in and attacked you.”

  He pulled her against his chest and she cried as Antonia and Amber caressed her back.

  “It’s worse than that, Cesar. A lot worse than that.”

  “Shhh, honey, just calm your breathing. You’re safe here. I’ve got you and Antonia and Amber have you, too. You’re safe. He can’t get to you here.”

  “You’re wrong. It’s not just him. It wasn’t just him that night,” she cried and she pulled back. Tears streamed down her cheeks and he squinted at her.

  “Collin forced himself on me and as he beat me, forced himself between my legs, and raped me, Steven watched.”

  Cesar felt the air rush from his chest and he nearly lost his balance from her statement. No wonder she had been so scared of him and of the uniform, hell, of Jack and his brothers, too. Fuck.

  He pulled her against his chest and held her tight.

  “I’m so sorry that happened to you. That he betrayed you like that.”

  She pulled back and held on to him and looked at Antonia and Amber, who were crying, too.

  “You see now, don’t you? You see why I can’t have guardians. Why I can’t allow the Cortland men near me?”

  He sealed his lips and looked at her with care and compassion in his heart and such a need to protect her, and he knew the Cortland men wanted her as their woman.

  “Because they remind you of these men who hurt you?”

  She shook her head.

  “They’re soldiers. Jack is a police officer, too, and his…his uniform,” she said and caressed his shirt then stepped back and used the back of her hand to wipe her eyes.

  He took her hand and squeezed it, giving her a sympathetic smile.

  “Honey, Jack is not Steven or Collin, nor are Milton, Jesse, or Nevin. Sure, they were soldiers, Special Forces and very capable, but they are good men. Men who will take care of you and protect you from harm, even help you heal from the wounds those two assholes caused.”

  She chuckled lowly and then sniffled. Antonia and Amber smiled and caressed the hair from her cheeks. They were good friends to her.

  “I can’t get involved with them,” she said and lowered her head.

  “Because you think they won’t want you when they find out what happened to you?” Antonia asked her.

  She nodded her head.

  “They adore you already. Take it from me, I thought my men wouldn’t want me because of what Ray tried to force on me.”

  Cesar reached out and caressed Antonia’s cheek.

  “Antonia is right. I know the Cortland men, each of them. They have their own fears, their inadequacies and regrets in life. They’re not judgmental, that’s for certain,” Cesar said.

  “Cesar, how can I move on, and try to let go of the past and trust them, when I know Steven and Collin will come looking for me? When, no matter where I am or how wonderful life might turn out to be, I’ll always be looking over my shoulder to see if they found me?”

  “Unless you want to press charges against them and face them head on—”

  She stepped back. “No. No, I don’t ever want to see them again. I don’t want to go to that town ever again. I had to leave my grandparents and God knows what those people have done to them to try and find out where I am.”

  “What? What are you talking about?” Cesar asked and his concern rose another notch, if that was even possible.

  “They’re bad people, Cesar. Things go on in that town. Things I never considered to be real, only gossip but I’ve been thinking about them and it makes sense to be true.”

  “What things?” Antonia asked before he could.

  “The police department is corrupt. It’s like a cult, and when Steven allowed Collin to touch me at that party and I told my friends how upset I was, they told me I needed to accept my fate. That the order had plans for me.”

  “The order?” he asked and swallowed hard as he leaned one hand on his hip and the other on the butt of his gun.

  “It’s some sort of group of men. They run these different events, including one I heard about but thought wasn’t real. They have a huge party after they go hunting and they display all the meat as well as women for the hunters to enjoy.”

  “What?” Antonia asked.

  “Yuck,” Amber added.

  “It’s true. I started to think about the different things I saw over the years. The looks from certain older men and an angry expression on Mr. Anders and Mr. Voight’s faces the moment Steven and I became boyfriend and girlfriend. It was really odd and I felt like they thought I belonged to them. My grandmother tried to talk me into attending college away but Steven and I got serious fast and so I decided to continue at the local community college. Anyway, one night I met some friends and then I meet these two girls from another town and when they find out I’m from Starling Grove they freak out. They immediately tell their friends they shouldn’t be friends with me and to leave or I would get them involved with the order and they would be forced to be part of that hunting event. I didn’t even know what they meant.”

  “I’m confused. Didn’t you ask them about it?” Antonia asked.

  “I did, and when they finally realized I was clueless, they started telling me about the things they heard, and about how several of their friends, all beautiful girls looking for jobs to make some money, were talked into attending parties given by the order. They said their friends were tied down like the deer and men could do whatever they wanted.”

  “That’s sick,” Amber whispered.

  “I didn’t believe them, until I asked Steven about it and he told me some of it was true and that I would never have to worry about any leaders coming after me because I was his girlfriend and would be his wife. Peop
le walk around there like everything is normal, but it isn’t. Those same men who screw around and have those hunting feasts, take care of their wives, act like they adore them, but behind closed doors these men do nasty, disgusting things to women, I just know it.”

  “Those women went there willingly, knowing they were going to get paid to have sex or whatever?” Amber asked.

  “I don’t know. I started picking up on more and more the last several weeks before that night. Steven was gone for long weekends and he would come back all fired up and aggressive. Not like hitting me or anything, but different. That’s when Collin started to show up at Steven’s when I was there doing my laundry and he knew Steven was at work. Then Steven was bringing me to these parties. There were a few familiar faces from town, especially the older men and they would watch me closely. Steven got uptight about it and would be pissed off, but Collin was always there to calm him down. Collin became a third wheel quickly and then in a matter of days he started touching me.”

  “Maybe you imagined some of the other things with your focus on Steven and avoiding Collin who was invading your space and time with Steven?” Antonia asked.

  Carina shook her head.

  “Before I left, my grandmother told me about changing my name, about going as far as I could and never to trust anyone because the order had a far reach. I asked her what she knew about the order and she told me that it was a bad thing with bad people involved in it, and that my father, that he had been part of it too and when he met my mother and tried to get out, they threatened to hurt my mom. My grandmother said that something bad happened, and when my mom died my father left for another tour in the service and didn’t come back. My grandparents raised me and when Steven and I started dating, they weren’t happy. There were other things. Little things like my grandparents pushing for me to leave and transfer to a different college for my Masters, and even do a semester or the whole Masters overseas. I was offered the opportunity but Steven talked me out of it. Told me he couldn’t stand to be without me and that we would get engaged soon. I trusted him. He was so convincing, so good at deceiving me. I hadn’t a clue. I know him though, and I know Collin. Their threats were real. They will hunt me down and find me, and if there is some sort of cult in that town, then they’ll have help, and I won’t involve the Cortland men. I won’t involve any of you. I can’t.”