Letting Go of the Pain Read online

  Sons of Justice 7: Letting Go of the Pain

  Letting go of the pain is never easy, but getting there can be a dangerous journey for Lauren. She can’t trust soldiers or any man for that matter, but the cards of fate are in her corner as she meets a team of soldiers one at a time. She falls for their charms and sexy muscles, capable arms and irresistible kisses, never mind their obsession with taste testing her every chance they get.

  She’s falling fast and deep, and trying to be strong, to show she isn’t weak but not quite let them know she loves them or that they have changed her for the better.

  Then, there’s the rules of this town Repose, as well as the rules of Sons of Justice. When they finally stake a claim of commitment, a mission calls them away and ultimately places her in danger. The end result may not only end their chances at happiness, but all their lives.

  Genre: Contemporary, Ménage a Trois/Quatre, Romantic Suspense

  Length: 63,218 words

  SONS OF JUSTICE 7: LETTING

  GO OF THE PAIN

  Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK

  SONS OF JUSTICE 7: LETTING GO OF THE PAIN

  Copyright © 2017 by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  ISBN: 978-1-64010-570-6

  First Publication: September2017

  Cover design by Les Byerley

  All art and logo copyright © 2017 by Siren Publishing, Inc.

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

  If you find a Siren-BookStrand e-book or print book being sold or shared illegally, please let us know at

  [email protected]

  PUBLISHER

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  DEDICATION

  Dear readers,

  Thank you for purchasing this legal copy of Letting Go of the Pain.

  Lauren has been through some major traumatic experiences, and is trying to pull her life together. Not easy, but nothing worth fighting for is ever easy. Including falling in love, letting her guard down after being hurt so badly. Pain can be more powerful than the drive to overcome the pain, to resist the urge to give up and to even go on living. Learning to let it go sometimes takes a little help from those around you, and in this case, four very loving capable soldiers who know exactly how she feels, and believe she is worth the chance and the risk.

  May you enjoy their journey of getting past the pain, past their insecurities, and fears of weakness and vulnerability.

  Happy reading.

  HUGS!

  Dixie

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  People seem to be more interested in my name than where I get my ideas for my stories from. So I might as well share the story behind my name with all my readers.

  My momma was born and raised in New Orleans. At the age of twenty, she met and fell in love with an Irishman named Patrick Riley Dwyer. Needless to say, the family was a bit taken aback by this as they hoped she would marry a family friend. It was a modern day arranged marriage kind of thing and my momma downright refused.

  Being that my momma’s families were descendants of the original English speaking Southerners, they wanted the family blood line to stay pure. They were wealthy and my father’s family was poor.

  Despite attempts by my grandpapa to make Patrick leave and destroy the love between them, my parents married. They recently celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary.

  I am one of six children born to Patrick and Lynn Dwyer. I am a combination of both Irish and a true Southern belle. With a name like Dixie Lynn Dwyer it’s no wonder why people are curious about my name.

  Just as my parents had a love story of their own, I grew up intrigued by the lifestyles of others. My imagination as well as my need to stray from the straight and narrow made me into the woman I am today.

  Enjoy Letting Go of the Pain and allow your imagination to soar freely.

  For all titles by Dixie Lynn Dwyer, please visit

  www.bookstrand.com/dixie-lynn-dwyer

  SONS OF JUSTICE 7:

  LETTING GO OF THE PAIN

  DIXIE LYNN DWYER

  Copyright © 2017

  Prologue

  Lauren Mosely stepped onto the small terrace of her apartment, a three bedroom she shared with Avana and Tiana. Her heart was heavy. Almost as heavy as when she’d lost her father and had survived being abducted and abused. Things were different now, unsteady, inconsistent, nerve-wracking, and it didn’t help that they were all in this town, Repose, where men outnumbered women and the majority were military or first responders of some kind. It was uncomfortable for the three of them, and her especially.

  Their cousin Thylane’s friends were very nice. Like her, a few of them were in ménage relationships. Lauren couldn’t look at those types of relationships without reservations and fear. When she’d first met Logan and Connor, she wondered how she would choose between them, but soon they made it known that they both wanted her as their woman. She was shocked, concerned about the public reaction and potential scrutiny of such a relationship, but she fell in love.

  She closed her eyes a moment and pushed that ache away, the feelings of stupidity, guilt, ignorance still raw.

  This town, what it stood for, the power it expelled, was like nothing she ever had felt or seen before. Every man out there single or taken, cared for, watched over, and protected every woman and child.

  8

  Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  The respect for women was incredible and almost cult-like. She snickered. She was so untrusting it wasn’t even funny. Maybe a bit bitter, too, but her soft-spoken, shy demeanor didn’t change because of that bitterness. It made her worse. She was so damn scared all the time. She hated this. Hated it and hated putting on a fake smile, pretending to be dealing with her emotions, her fears, accordingly, when really she was losing it.

  Why couldn’t she be more like Thylane? Strong, accepting to any challenge, and capable. Her cousin looked fear, challenges, barriers in the eye and attacked. After the hostage situation and killing Logan and Connor, Thylane was determined to be empowered and to get stronger. She took shooting lessons, self-defense, and martial arts classes, she got into relaxation techniques when anxiety struck or fears from the near-death invaded her mind. Not Lauren though. No, she was weak, defeated, and sort of in need of being controlled. Well, maybe not controlled but guided. Hell, she was here in Repose, wasn’t she? Living in an apartment with her sisters, having given up her independence and freedom she had before Logan and Connor. She needed that though. For Thylane, Avana, and Tiana to be nearby.

  She looked out across the gardens and park from her balcony. She didn’t hate it here.

  The sheriff, Cesar Cortland, was nice but yet scary at the same time. He had a reputation, a good one, as being firm, forceful in the rules and regulations of this town, and was supposedly in charge of approving or disapproving of ménage relationships. It scared her, and she prayed that her cousin Thylane had been honest about no one pushing for Lauren and her sisters to get involved with any men or needing any men to watch over them. The last thing Lauren wanted was me
n around her, especially military men. This whole idea about having to move here, live here, and start new lives was upsetting. But she couldn’t lie. The town and the outskirts of Repose were beautiful.

  The town itself was stunning, welcoming, and it made her feel guilty

  Sons of Justice 7: Letting Go of the Pain 9

  for being negative when it appeared like she, Avana, and Tiana had entered paradise.

  She took a deep breath and exhaled then took a sip from her coffee mug.

  Repose, Texas, where ménage relationships ran rampant and men outnumbered women at least fifteen to one. Holy God, those were odds against her and her need to be single. To heal from the pain, from the damage done to her. Just about three years had passed. No boyfriends, no dates, no sex. She gulped. When she thought about sex, she thought about pain, about Logan’s and Connor’s big muscles, military capabilities, and the expressions on their faces and in their eyes as they abused her physically and emotionally. She didn’t know what was worse, feeling beaten down, not good enough, unattractive in all aspects mentally, or physically sustaining pain. Sometimes the ache in her heart and feelings of disgust with herself were so great she would have welcomed physical pain instead.

  She thought about the therapist Cesar had recommended to her on the down-low. She couldn’t help but like the man. He did have a way about him and didn’t skirt around issues or sugarcoat anything. He was a straight shooter.

  She didn’t like going out much but was enjoying this new job baking for the café and bookstore, Happy Endings. It was some name and definitely applied to Bo and her situation. She truly loved her men, and they loved her. It was beautiful to see how a healthy relationship worked. Even Thylane’s with her men, yet Lauren feared getting that call that one of them had hit Thylane or hurt her.

  She swallowed hard. It was normal for Lauren to think this way.

  She hadn’t really survived an abusive relationship. She’d been saved from dying from it, by her cousin. She swallowed hard as tears hit her eyes. Even now when she thought about the verbal and physical abuse she’d sustained, she felt the aches and pains, and the sadness, the hollowness, the emotions of being weak and feeling like nothing, a nobody.

  10

  Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  She really needed to go into town this week. She needed some more clothes and some comfortable shoes for work. It was casual so maybe tennis sneakers and some skirts. Thinking of that brought on an anxious feeling and, insanely, her disguise. It was probably pretty damn obvious that she didn’t want anyone to talk to her or approach her since she wore a hat, dark sunglasses, and avoided conversations.

  She went in, did her shopping or whatever, and got the hell out of there. Men noticed her, watched her, and she feared they might approach or try to stake some sort of claim on her. No way. She was smarter now and knew her limitations. Hell, she might never be with a man again.

  When she went out to town, which was rarely, she felt the eyes on her and avoided conversations. Under her dark sunglasses, she had tunnel vision and even avoided the sheriff. Cesar was a nice and experienced man, and his wife, Antonia, was sweet. Antonia, too, was married to four men, all capable and so much bigger than Antonia that they could break her in two.

  Lauren squeezed her eyes tight and felt the tears fill them. She hated the direction of her thoughts. Like no men could be trusted, could be kind in any way but to get something from a woman.

  She didn’t like living here. It made her even more nervous, but she couldn’t live in seclusion either. First of all, they couldn’t afford to, and secondly, being away in a house with no neighbors around for miles would make her even more paranoid. No, here there was one way in and one way out. They were on the fourth floor and in a very beautiful neighborhood. There were kids riding bikes and playing in the park that she could see from here and a courtyard with benches and a fountain she could sit by and read if she felt compelled to and grounds that she could spend time wandering and still feel somewhat safe. This was the best type of place to be and to share with her sisters, who had their own troubles and insecurities, as well.

  She had no choice though, and neither did Avana or Tiana. Uncle Brook’s company that her sister worked for was going under. Well, he

  Sons of Justice 7: Letting Go of the Pain 11

  called it downsizing after nearly being charged for numerous crimes by the federal agents. Specifically, Lucas Ferrow. He had been so angry for being caught putting Thylane at risk to be bait to catch Yorkshire that he broke several laws and policies as an agent and as a person who was supposed to protect Thylane. That mess was still being cleared up, and now an investigation continued into the other agents and where their loyalties lay. Thylane’s men had some serious connections, and they would get to the bottom of things quickly.

  There was no doubt.

  Like most of the men who were part of Sons of Justice, Stack, Finlin, Pisces, and Rusty were powerful and resourceful. She feared for Thylane’s life, for her heart and soul, as Thylane was madly in love with the four men. But would they hurt her? Would they eventually become abusive and mistreat Thylane? Lauren worried about her cousin and about how the men treated her behind closed doors. That was where true personalities came out and where batterers enforced their power and control.

  Lauren shivered and then crossed her arms in front of her chest and felt the tears fill her eyes. She should be putting the past behind her, along with the fears, the insecurities, the pain, but she couldn’t seem to. This place, this town, their ideas, and how everyone acted put her on edge and made her close her mind, her heart. Her need for friendship, for conversation and socializing, had to be submerged. It was too risky. She wasn’t a good judge of character. She didn’t have the ability to defend herself, to feel strong. She had turned into a mouse. A weak, submissive, controllable mouse, and that made her a target.

  No matter how hard she tried to push herself to be stronger, to gain self-confidence and to defeat these demons she couldn’t.

  She looked at her watch. She needed to head to the café. Three more days until the grand opening. Bo was extremely nervous, but they got along great, and most importantly, Bo loved Lauren’s baking.

  On top of that, there was potential for more responsibility and more

  12

  Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  money because Lauren had her accounting degree and could easily help Bo with the bookkeeping if the store took off. A lot of potential, but also a lot of hoping that Lauren’s self-confidence increased and her fears decreased. She took a deep breath and headed back inside.

  “Good morning,” Avana said to her as she entered from the hallway.

  “Morning,” Lauren replied and then put her dirty coffee mug into the dishwasher.

  “Tiana wants tacos tonight. You game?” Avana asked.

  “I guess so, but maybe buy some chicken, too, for salads,” Lauren said, and Avana smiled.

  “Tiana and I are going to go into town later today. Are you working long?”

  “Until four.”

  “Okay, so we’ll get started and see you tonight.”

  “Sounds good,” Lauren replied and then went into the bathroom to brush her teeth before she grabbed her things and headed out the door.

  * * * *

  “Where are you now?” Steve spoke into the cell phone.

  “On a plane heading out of Vegas,” Panther replied

  “A stop after Chile?”

  “Follow-up for a quick assistance with the local police to make sure they found Pachessa’s guy Lambert.”

  “And did they?”

  “Nope. He’s nowhere to be found, which leads us to believe that there was an informant,” Panther replied.

  “That isn’t good. That means your covers were probably blown.”

  “No shit, Steve, and more than likely the location where we live,”

  Panther replied.

  “Now what?”

  Sons of Justice 7: Letting Go of the Pain 13r />
  “Well, we live on the campground, have Cesar and his men patrolling outside and throughout Repose all the time. They’d take notice to someone like Lambert, believe me. He only has a few men he keeps close, and with the feds looking for him, he won’t be able to access any of his funds. It’s just a matter of time and he’ll be squeezed out. We’ll discuss it more when we get home. Spartan is aware of the situation and even Finlin since some names popped up of interest to a previous mission they were involved in. Not sure if there’s a connection or not. Too early to say. Our part is done though, and now we’re heading home.”

  “I hope so. So when can I expect you guys?”

  “Later tonight and in time for dinner.”

  “What are you making?” Steve asked, and then Panther chuckled.

  “Seriously? You got to stay behind and relax. The least you could do is have a good home-cooked meal waiting for us,” Panther told him.

  Steve laughed. “I wasn’t exactly relaxing.”

  “Working construction helping out Channing and his men with Bo’s new place isn’t relaxation for you?”

  “That was a few days and in between all the chaos on camp with the new recruits. Thor and Bubba were relentless. They worked them so tough that even I had muscles in pain.”

  Panther laughed. “You love that stuff, aside from the artillery games. We’ll be there soon, and then we’ll kick back, have a few beers, and talk about the weekend.”

  “Sounds good. Have a safe flight.” Steve ended the call.

  He walked onto the porch and looked out across the open property. Their new place was big and a long way from the shitholes they were forced to live in as they worked surveillance on some pretty evil bastards. It was how they’d come across connections to some Middle Eastern terrorist cells and their distribution of arms and plans of chemical attacks on local villages. Till this day he had nightmares