Letting Go of the Pain Read online

  Panther touched her hand and stepped closer. She froze and clenched her eyes closed as if she thought he might strike her. It shocked him, and his team. He didn’t think. He just reacted and pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight.

  “Jesus, Lauren. I’ve never struck a woman and never will. Don’t look at me like I would do that. Like my men would. Please don’t run

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  off. Sit and talk with us. We would like your company,” he whispered into her ear.

  He inhaled her shampoo and closed his eyes a moment then opened them to see his team, his brothers’ intense stares watching him. Panther slid his palm along her lower back. She felt fragile, feminine, and that protectiveness came over him good and strong. She eased back and looked at him.

  “I’m making a mess of things. I don’t know what to say or do or how to react to the four of you. You scare me,” she admitted.

  His reaction shocked him. He felt hurt, on the defensive, concerned, and apparently determined to make her not fear them but like them. He caressed her hip and lower back, held her in place, and stared into her eyes as if trying to infuse the idea of safety and security in his arms alone.

  “Don’t be scared of us, of what we stand for or what we do for a living.”

  Steve pressed up against her back and kissed her bare shoulder.

  She turned to look at him but not all the way, indicating that she must like Panther holding her by her hips.

  “You’re not ruining anything. This is new for us, too. To all feel an attraction to a beautiful young woman like you.”

  “All?” she asked, and Eddie and Mink stared right at her.

  “There’s something going on here, and we plan on finding out exactly what,” Mink said, eyeing her body. Panther felt her tighten up again and then shiver.

  He ran his palm along her hip to her ass. “Easy now. Let’s get that drink and take a seat and talk some more. I want to hear about those apple pies you make that are out of this world,” he said, surprising himself at the ability to change the subject and entice her into staying.

  He didn’t want her to leave, nor did his team. This was one hell of a turn of events tonight.

  * * * *

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  Lauren was relieved when her sisters, as well as Brazille, Thylane, and her men joined them. It took the pressure off of feeling like she was under a microscope with Steve, Panther, Eddie, and Mink. She thought that she was pretty damn untrusting, but these men took the cake. Some of Mink’s and Panther’s questions were borderline interrogations. It was odd though. As intimidated as she felt, there was this comfort, almost like she knew they were good men. She found it hard to digest, and she didn’t believe her own instincts, but since they asked questions, she asked her own, as well. Wasn’t she surprised to find out that Mink enjoyed baking and was supposedly good at it?

  “You should taste the brownies he makes. He gets fresh cocoa and organic ingredients to make them and a special ingredient,” Eddie told her as he stroked her shoulder. His arm was on the back of her chair.

  “Oh really? Sounds interesting,” Lauren said to Mink, shifting toward him.

  “What’s the secret ingredient?” Avana asked.

  Mink raised one eyebrow up at Avana and then gave her a very slick, flirty reply.

  “Oh, I can’t tell you. Then it wouldn’t be a secret ingredient.”

  They chuckled.

  “I bet our sister can figure out what it is by one taste,” Tiana added.

  “Oh yeah, she is really good at that,” Thylane said, and Lauren felt a little embarrassed as her cheeks blushed. What made it worse was now Mink leaned down and stroked her jaw, tilting her head up toward him so he could look her in the eyes.

  “Sounds like a challenge to me. You’ll have to come over tomorrow after I bake a batch and then figure out that secret ingredient.”

  He leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to hers. When he pulled back, he winked, and she felt overheated and a bit embarrassed

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  as she looked at her sisters, who were smiling wide, and at Thylane, who was blushing, but then Pisces pulled her into his arms and kissed her neck.

  “You’ll have to let us all know how that pans out tomorrow,”

  Finlin said.

  “Yes, definitely,” Brazille added, as if condoning that this would happen and they thought it was a good idea.

  “We’ll give you our address. Plan on coming by for lunch, and the brownie taste test can be dessert.” Mink stroked her lower lip with his thumb before pulling back and taking a sip of beer.

  She didn’t decline. In fact she was speechless and wondered how she’d just wound up getting together with these men tomorrow, and alone at their house.

  The conversations continued around them, and she reached out to Mink as Eddie kissed her bare shoulder and Panther and Steve spoke with Finlin, Pisces, and Rusty. Stack was talking to Brazille about the agency she worked for.

  “Uhm, I didn’t say yes to tomorrow. I don’t think it’s a good idea.

  Me going to your house.”

  “Why not, baby?” Mink asked and cupped her cheek. She pressed her hand over it, and holy crap was she turned on big time.

  “I don’t really know you, any of you. We just met really.”

  “You’ve known Steve for a little while, and we’re trustworthy men.”

  “I don’t know that though, and I’m not really looking to—”

  He shook his head.

  “If you need to be friends first, like with Steve, then come over as a friend,” he suggested, and for some reason, that made it seem less stressful until she started staring at each of them and taking in their many sensual attributes.

  Tight, muscular asses in blue jeans, tattoos peeking out from short-sleeve shirts that were stretched to capacity because their arm muscles were so damn big and hard. They were lethal looking, and

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  not even drop-dead gorgeous per se but more like sexual fantasies for any sane woman. Her mind went immediately to imagining them naked, and holy crap, she freaked. She thought about her own body and how hard she worked out running, doing crunches but not really weights. She thought about the scar under her breast, the cigar burn, and she felt the tears fill her eyes, and when she looked up, Panther was squinting at her and also Thylane.

  “You okay?” Thylane asked.

  She swallowed hard. “Fine,” she whispered, but she wasn’t fine.

  She was in a panic. What was she going to do about tomorrow, and how was she going to get through it without a panic attack?

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  Chapter Five

  Panther got off the phone with Jed Holmes. His concern for their well-being had just gone up another notch as Jed indicated that there was evidence of some of Pachessa’s men being part of the shoot-out with police that occurred Thursday. Now that the investigators had finished at the crime scene, they found three men who were known to do jobs for both Pachessa and Lambert. One in particular had a brother who was seen in the town where one of the other agents who was involved in the investigation lived. The immediate concern was for that agent and his family. Sure enough, as the federal agents notified the agent, the men working for Pachessa made a move. They tried conducting a home invasion, but the agent and his family were trained and ready. Apparently this Agent Murdock had taught his wife and two daughters, thirteen and fifteen, how to shoot guns and how to hide if there was ever some sort of home invasion or attack. Agent Murdock, his wife, and two daughters shot and killed four men working for Pachessa and out to kill agent Murdock.

  Panther couldn’t believe it, or his train of thought, as the smell of brownies made it through the doorway of his office. Would Lauren show up as requested, or would she be too scared, too uncertain about the attraction to take this cha
nce? He couldn’t help but to think that if this worked out, if they pursued her and got involved with her, making her their woman, whether or not she could accept their commands, their orders for her to learn things. For one, how to shoot a gun, be prepared in case of an attack or home invasion. He was stunned by the fast-forward thinking. He hadn’t even made out with the woman or felt her up. What the fuck was he thinking?

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  He heard the knock on the door but was well aware someone was coming as his mind focused on Lauren.

  “So what did he say?” Eddie asked Panther.

  Panther leaned back in the chair and explained in detail about agent Murdock and about his family.

  “Holy shit. Thank God they were prepared like that.”

  “I know. It would have been a different situation if they weren’t.

  Shows how important it is to be trained and prepared like that.”

  “Sure as shit does. So what is Fairchild saying about this?

  Obviously agents involved in the investigation are being hunted.”

  “I think he realizes the seriousness of the situation and also thinking what we were, that there’s someone on the inside. Someone who has access to the investigation, to that mission we were on and what went down. I don’t like it, and I get the feeling that more attempts on these agents’ lives will be happening. What I think should be done, and what Fairchild is initiating right now, are for investigators to find other men associated with Pachessa and Lambert that we know. I’m also thinking about our own security. We have a lot of friends around here, a lot of women and children in town.

  Limiting exposure to them might need to take place as precaution.”

  Eddie squinted his eyes at him. “You seriously think they’ll come specifically after all of us?”

  “It’s Pachessa’s and Lambert’s MO. They don’t trust anyone, and they never got caught in any of their terrorist activities. Think about it. Gary is dead, and he and his team of four were along with us initially. They were killed when Pachessa escaped right before being placed in prison. The guys who didn’t make it out of that situation were thoroughly checked out, and they had connections to terrorist out of the country. You tell me how the fuck that could have happened with that many agents around. We risked our necks to catch that asshole in Chile and bring him back here. The second we get off the plane the feds take control and possession. Fine, no big deal. We know we do the dirty work, the risky, dangerous shit and others take

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  the credit, but succeeding in the mission is our focus. Fine, but why the fuck isn’t anyone going through the fuckup outside the prison with a fine-tooth comb? Why has it just been accepted from the start as a fuckup?”

  “We were asking all the questions from the start, and you had the feeling that there was more to that escape. So what does Spartan say?”

  “That’s the thing. We’re supposed to deal directly with Fairchild, but my gut is feeling uneasy about anything we share with him and the agents. Especially considering that federal agents took over handling that transport. I say we use our own resources and talk with Spartan about what we’re feeling.”

  “Fuck, do you think that Fairchild knows more and he isn’t sharing because he feels we’re out of the picture now?”

  “Could be, but we aren’t out of the picture. Our capture, which we handed over, escaped. He also killed friends of ours, other soldiers that gave their lives. I want to find Pachessa and Lambert.”

  “Panther, it isn’t our job now. What we did, the mission is over.

  Perhaps just easing back into our normal lives, our responsibilities on the campground with Sons of Justice, would be smarter right now,”

  Eddie said.

  Panther squinted his eyes at him.

  “What are you saying? Just forget it all and not give a shit?”

  “Well, sort of. We risked our lives. We also had to do that mission without Steve, and it caused a bit of a gap between us. It hasn’t been right or easy or even pleasant, but last night, at the Station with Lauren between us, it felt different. Like things used to be but even better. Like she pulled us closer, and everything felt good, upbeat, hell, complete if I can say that without sounding sappy.”

  Panther exhaled through his nose.

  “We don’t know enough about her. This talk is awfully fucking serious.”

  “I’m not just looking at her as a piece of ass, believe me, I’m not.

  There’s more to this. Look around the town, around at our friends and

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  their relationships with their women. Their focus is on that woman, making her happy, holding her, possessing her, and it looks amazing.

  I’ve never, we’ve never, met a woman all four of us are attracted to at the same time. We’ve never felt the connection, the power we did last night with Lauren between all four of us. I’m thinking that putting this mission behind us, seeing it for what it was, a fucked-up situation that put a deeper wedge between us and Steve, and work on repairing the damage right here at home. In this house, with this family. Because if we don’t have one another, then we have nothing.”

  Panther thought about his words, about the emotion and how he felt listening to him speak.

  “Okay, I agree, but as soldiers, as men who were involved with this last mission, I think it would be wise to still stay alert and have our friends keep us posted on any new information or potential sightings. It will be wiser to be aware and prepared than to be caught off guard, unsuspecting, and wind up making a mistake that could cost our lives, or the lives of people we care about.”

  “Agreed. We’ll fill in Mink and Steve later,” Eddie said, and the sound of the doorbell ringing indicated that their guest had arrived.

  Eddie smiled and rubbed his hands together.

  “I knew she would show up.”

  “Take it slow, like we discussed earlier.”

  “I’ll try, but she’s pretty damn fine, and the protective, possessive feelings may be difficult to tamp down.” Eddie walked out of the room.

  Panther closed up the laptop and then joined everyone in the kitchen.

  * * * *

  Steve opened the front door and smiled softly. Lauren looked beautiful, and she was carrying something covered with foil. She wore a flared black skirt, heeled ankle boots in black, a light blue

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  waist-length sweater, and a black tank top under that. Her hair cascaded around her shoulders, and the sunlight gave an angelic glow to her.

  “Hi, come on in.”

  She smiled and looked around. “This place is so big. It’s beautiful.”

  “Wait until you see the backyard.” He smiled.

  He guided her toward the kitchen when Eddie appeared. Eddie looked her over and smiled. “Afternoon,” he said, placed his hands on her arms, and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

  Steve swallowed hard. He had wanted to do that but was worried that it might scare her if they moved too quickly. She smiled softly.

  “I love your house. It’s so big and beautiful. Plus it smells incredible in here,” she said, and there stood Mink. He gave her a wink, took in the sight of her, and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

  When he pulled back, she swallowed hard.

  “What’s under there?” he asked about the foil-covered dish she had.

  “Oh, I had some time this morning, didn’t know what you were planning for lunch, so I made some buffalo chicken dip as an appetizer, with homemade baked pita chips and toasted brioche for dipping.”

  “Oh God, that sounds incredible,” Mink said as he took the dish from her.

  “Let’s have it outside on the patio. It’s pretty nice out,” Steve suggested, although they had already discussed how they were going to eat outside, and if it got too cool, they would start a fire in the outdoor fireplace. As they walked through the
kitchen, Panther appeared.

  “Hi,” he said to her, and she stopped and looked up at him.

  “Hello, Panther. How are you?”

  He looked at her, and Steve saw Panther’s eyes check her out, and she shyly lowered her eyes and smoothed her hand along her skirt.

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  “Good. You look really nice,” he said to her but didn’t kiss her hello.

  “Shall we?” Eddie said and held the door open on the way to the patio.

  “Oh my, this is gorgeous. Holy God, you even have an outdoor fireplace, refrigerator? Sink?” She walked closer, running her hand along the granite countertops and then the sink.

  “Thanks, it even has a pizza oven, though we don’t really use that,” Eddie said to her. She turned around to look at them.

  “Why not? I would be making pizzas all the time. You know you can make lots of things besides pizza in there, even homemade tortillas, focaccia, and lay all your fresh ingredients right here and just toss them on. You even have the stovetop for a pot of homemade pizza sauce. Wow.”

  Steve chuckled.

  “Darling, any time you want to come on over and create one of those masterpieces, you do so. It sounds delicious,” Mink said to her and placed his hand on her hip and pulled her close against him. She grabbed onto his forearms, her face flushed.

  “Sorry, food, cooking, outdoor kitchens, and pizza ovens get me excited.”

  He chuckled. “I kind of sensed that. So besides baking, you’re a good cook?”

  He eased one hand up to her face and pushed a strand of hair from her cheek. He kept his other hand on her lower back.

  “I enjoy all of it.”

  “I do pretty good around the kitchen. We should make something together some time.”

  She seemed to think about her answer, and Mink made his move and kissed her softly on the lips.

  * * * *