What Love Feels Like Read online

  “Darling, you just keep those pitchers coming. I got this right here and will be covering their rounds for the night,” one big guy with a light brown beard said to her as he looked at her breasts and licked his lips, tapping his credit card against his muscular chest. She imagined he thought he was something special.

  She gave him a wink. “You got it, honey,” she said.

  His friends smiled and looked at her as they clinked beers, and when she turned she knew they were still talking about her and checking out her backside. Tonight, she wore a pair of very tight-fitting hip hugger jeans that showed off her skin on her belly and back, a small piece of the tattoo she had but not much, just enough to indicate she had it, and her belly ring, too. All ways to get the patrons to tip her well. Add in the one size too small sleeveless T-shirt that she cut the collar out of so it showed off her shoulders and just a little bit of her deep cleavage when one shoulder sagged, and oh yeah, she would be getting the big tips tonight.

  She didn’t like wearing any tank tops. Her breasts were just too large, and no matter how hard she tried to not show too much cleavage, or even her bra, it wouldn’t work. She didn’t need the distraction, but it was obvious she was well endowed, but conservative, slightly. The other girls asked why she didn’t flaunt her assets more. She didn’t want any trouble and was trying to blend in.

  As she approached the bar, she noticed Seren Fortane immediately. His eyes gazed over her body, and then she looked away and locked onto another man, just as big, similar attributes, and the same brown hair as Seren, and she had to do a double take. She squeezed by them to get the other pitchers from Ade.

  “Hey Jade, how’s it going tonight? Super busy, huh?” Seren asked her, and he didn’t move away but kept close. She felt it everywhere.

  She turned slightly, waiting for the beer order. “So crazy. How is work?” she asked.

  “Good. Uhm, meet one of my brothers. This is Shane,” he introduced her, and she looked up at the big guy she’d spotted before, noticing now that he had the same blue eyes as Seren.

  “Nice to meet you,” she said, and then heard Ade say the order was ready. She stepped one foot onto the footrest of the bar and grabbed the tray. “Well, have a good night, I have to get moving. Nice meeting you.”

  Shane nodded and looked at her body, and she felt it all over just like when Seren looked at her. Her heart pounded in her chest. She’d been around Cherry Hill long enough to know the deal and to be concerned. Men shared women around here, and when they engaged in ménages, they were forever. She didn’t have the luxury of ever dating, ever having sex, and certainly she had her fears. She didn’t want any trouble and didn’t want to have to leave this town, but if things got complicated, she wouldn’t have a choice. No, she didn’t need to jump the gun. Can’t get complicated if she just said not interested.

  “What did you think?” Seren asked Shane as Shane took a sip from his beer, his eyes still tracking Jade.

  “What do you mean?” he asked as she disappeared into the large crowd by the pool tables.

  “About Jade. What did you think?”

  “Is this why you asked me to come here?”

  “Bro, she is gorgeous.”

  “She’s young. What is she, like, twenty?” Shane asked, sounding grumpy even to his own ears.

  “Twenty-three actually.”

  “Shit, she’s young.”

  “I’ve been coming here for a while. She’s new to town. Been in Cherry Hill for a month.”

  “What else do you know?”

  “Not much. She lives in a one bedroom above Finnerty’s bar.”

  Shane scrunched his eyebrows together with concern.

  “I spoke with John and Keith, and they keep eyes on her and make sure she’s safe coming and going. She’s gorgeous, and I can tell you felt an attraction to her, as well. You didn’t move an inch away from her. You were inhaling that sweet, light perfume of hers.”

  “She smelled good, that’s all. I’m around cars and grease all day, so it’s nice to smell something pretty.”

  Seren gave him a nudge. “It’s more than that.”

  “What is this, man?”

  “Let’s wait to see if Colby and Quincy show up and notice her, too.”

  “Not going to happen. Just like I wasn’t going to come by either. We’re tired, and this is the same shit. We aren’t the type for hanging out at bars. I’ll have a couple of beers with you then head out.”

  “And not talk to Jade some more?”

  “Why?”

  “Because I like her, and I think the three of you will, too.”

  Now, Shane felt shocked at his brother’s words. It all hit him at once—sharing a woman, having what their parents had. “We were kids, Seren.”

  “We never gave up the dream, the fantasy.”

  “That’s exactly what it is, a fantasy. We’ve all been through too much shit. We barely share anything with one another anymore. Those days as kids of dreaming are over, bro.”

  “No, I don’t believe they’re over. I believe we’ve been living our lives, figuring out who we are and what we want. We need to get back on track, get close again.”

  “Then what? Pursue some young woman you know nothing about?”

  “Did you feel something when she was close to you, Shane?”

  “What does that matter?”

  “Just answer the damn question.”

  “How could I not? She has a great body, was sweet, and smelled good. I felt something, but any man would feel an attraction to her.”

  Seren shook his head. “Not any man. She’s going to be ours. Mark my words, I know it. I feel it. I just need to get you guys on board to give this a try and to, well, convince Jade to spend time with us out of Harper’s.”

  “You sound like she isn’t interested,” Shane asked.

  “She’s shy, doesn’t date, turns down every guy who asks her out, and she doesn’t hang out with any other women outside of work. She keeps to herself.”

  Shane took a sip from his beer and looked for Jade. He eyed her over and watched her shake her head and her finger at two men who were smiling and begging her for something. “Sounds like trouble to me.”

  “We’re soldiers, and we’re resourceful. How much trouble can one sexy little brunette be?”

  “I don’t believe it. I worked my ass off all night with those guys, and he tips me twenty bucks? The bill was six hundred dollars,” Jade said, and then lowered her head to the bar. Funds were low. She didn’t want to hit her savings. The rent was due, she had to go food shopping, and she needed a new pair of sneakers for work and another pair of jeans, because these were stained.

  She was starting to worry when Harper placed her hand on her shoulder. “Hey, Ade knows those guys. Maybe they were too drunk and didn’t know what they were doing.”

  Ade looked angry, and so were Cherise and Genesis. “I’ve seen the guy with the beard around town. I bet he was just too drunk.”

  “Yeah, well, that doesn’t do me any good. Just forget it. These things happen,” she said and stood up, putting the money she made into a small bag in her backpack. “It’s fine,” she said again, mostly to reassure herself.

  They talked about the next shift tomorrow and then being off Sunday. She said goodnight and headed outside with Cherise. “Those guys probably made a mistake, Jade. They’re usually good tippers,” Cherise told her as they got into Cherise’s car. Jade was quiet as Cherise drove.

  “I saw Seren and his brother, Shane, at the bar tonight,” Cherise said as she drove down the road. The ride was short, but no one wanted Jade walking at night alone, so she accepted the ride.

  “Yeah, I didn’t know he had a brother.”

  “I didn’t either. Never saw him before. I just heard Ade refer to the guy as Seren’s brother.”

  “Oh, so I guess he doesn’t get out much.”

  “I wonder what brought him out tonight?” Cherise asked as she stopped the car in front of the street near Finner
ty’s bar, which was still open. A few people were outside heading to their vehicles or walking down the sidewalk.

  “What do you mean?” Jade asked.

  “I mean, Seren has his eyes on you. There’s only one reason a man in this town brings a sibling to check out a woman he has his eyes on,” Cherise said and smiled wide. Jade felt her jaw drop. “You lucky lady. They were both so good looking, and Seren is hot in uniform.”

  She blinked and then swallowed hard and didn’t respond. She opened the car door. “Thanks for the ride.”

  “Hey, no response? I mean, do you like them?”

  “Cherise, I’m not interested in dating any men. I have a hard enough time trying to make ends meet. I’ve only been in town for the month, and I don’t know how long I’ll be living here.”

  “What? Since when? You never said this was temporary. You know how hard it is to find good bartenders and waitresses. We need you, and we like you. Harper’s is a family, and you’re part of that.”

  “Cherise.”

  “No, you are part of it, so don’t push us away. We’re here. I’m here if you need anything.”

  “How about another job to make more money?” she said in frustration and got out of the car.

  “People are always looking to hire for extra help. Keep your ears open, and I’ll do the same. You can always talk to Sheriff McCabe.”

  She made a funny face and said goodnight, then headed to the side door. Cherise honked the horn. Jade turned around, and there was John. “Late night?” he asked, and she nodded. He looked around the staircase and nodded. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, John,” she said, knowing he walked out of the bar just to make sure she was safe going upstairs. That was the kind of town this was. The kind of men who lived here. Nothing like the men she knew. Nothing like her entire screwed up family.

  As she unlocked the door, she thought about her sister, Allie. She wondered if she was still alive, or maybe by now pregnant. Rodeo wanted a football team of men like him. Her sister was stupid enough and scared enough to risk her life giving that to him, while getting beat along the way. Why did she think of Allie?

  Chapter 2

  Allie laid on the bed, pulled the sheet up against her body, and pressed into the pillow. The tears fell, her body ached, and she clenched her eyes closed as Rodeo moaned. Candice, some younger woman who made her way into their bed, was now feasting on him. She felt the palm against her thigh and knew it didn’t belong to Rodeo. It belonged to Curtis, a partner of Coleman’s that she was ordered to please no matter what he wanted. As he eased up against her naked body, pulling the sheets down, she pretended she was tired. He kissed her thigh and then her arm, rolled her to her belly, and spread her thighs.

  “You be good now, and I’ll be sure to give a positive report to the boss,” he said, slurring his words and chuckling. She despised this man, this life she was forced to live. She went to move, to try and resist.

  “Where you going, girl?” he asked, and the slap to her back came from the side where Rodeo was.

  “Please him, or you won’t be walking for a month,” he threatened.

  Curtis chuckled as he straddled her body and caressed her back and neck. “She’ll be good. I think you gave her a good run a few minutes ago, Rodeo. She needs a little recoup time.”

  “She’s ready when you’re ready,” Rodeo ordered and gave her ass a slap. He rolled the blonde who was servicing him off of him, and he pressed her down to the bed and thrust into her as the blonde screamed out.

  Where had she gone wrong? How did her life turn out like this? So screwed up? She didn’t deserve this, and she refused to bring any children into this world. When Rodeo found out she had an IUD, he was going to flip out. She heard the woman moaning as he thrust into her. Or maybe he didn’t care at all. He let other men fuck his wife, take from her body. The tears fell, and Curtis lifted her hips, laid over her, suckling against her neck, the alcohol on his breath killing her senses. A moment later, he was thrusting into her.

  She didn’t make a sound. She hated him and hated Rodeo. She was so tired of being used, of being forced to have sex with other men. When Rodeo first introduced her to the whole orgy thing, she had been a treat, a special new member in the bunch, and the men were incredible lovers, but soon enough she became the ordinary. Nothing special, just easy and accessible because her husband gave the order.

  “Come on, Allie. Call out my name. Tell me how good it feels. How big my dick is,” Curtis yelled at her, and she didn’t say a word. The anger and annoyance built up in her head, her body, and she wished she wasn’t here right now or had the type of family she had.

  “Tell him!” Rodeo demanded as he laid over the blonde, their bodies connected.

  She just reacted with disgust and anger. She screamed and turned and swung at Curtis, breaking his nose. He fell back and out of her, and she scrambled up only for the blonde to scream out and Rodeo to grab Allie by her ankle, yank her back, and pound on her. She felt her head hit the thick wooden headboard, and her vision blurred and her body continued to react to each strike. “Kill me. Kill me now. Kill me!” she screamed at him, and then darkness overtook her vision.

  Rodeo was pacing the hallway in the house. He threw everyone out of the party. Curtis was already gone, his men taking him to the emergency room. He looked through the open doorway and stared at Allie. Her body was covered in welts and bruises, and there was blood on her face and head from him pounding on her and hitting her head against the wood.

  What the fuck came over her? Why didn’t she just spread her legs and comply? Coleman was going to call any minute, maybe pull out like he had been threatening to do the last six months. No one expected Jade to disappear and to stay hidden on the run. They had no resources or ways of tracking her down. How could they without bringing the cops to their doorstep and into their new business? Stealing cars, flipping them, and stripping them was dirty business and lucrative, just like prostitution. Running illegal races was just as risky, and he needed Coleman’s backing. He was living the life, making money hand over fist, fucking everything in a skirt, sampling product. Even tonight, he got free blow, though he apparently overdid the drugs. He lost his shit and nearly killed his bitch.

  “Fuck,” he said as the guys he knew tended to her wounds now and determined that it was risky keeping her here and chancing her dying.

  “What do you think?” he asked one of his main guys.

  “I think her father is going to flip his shit if she dies.”

  “He doesn’t give a fuck about her. He knows what the deal is, and he’s getting money.”

  “She shouldn’t have resisted Curtis or struck him. Coleman is going to be the problem and not just pulling out, but taking us all under,” Gordo said as Flynn started to wipe her forehead to see how bad the damage was.

  Flynn pressed her eyelids open. “She definitely has a concussion. I think broken ribs, too. She’s breathing though and has a weak pulse.”

  “Well, clean her up, and this fucking mess. I need to think.”

  “You need to calm the fuck down, Rodeo. You’re doing drugs, fucking other women right next to her. How do you think she would react? She’s jealous as hell,” Gordo said to him.

  Rodeo looked at her. She started to moan and he walked closer. He stared at her messed up body, a body he damaged in rage, under drugs. He lowered down next to her. “You’re my woman and will always be my woman. Heal up and rest while I try to clean up the fucking mess you made.”