Letting Go of the Pain Read online

  * * * *

  Lauren gathered the garbage from the kitchen and headed down the hallway to the back door. Bo and her men were out back in the gardens going over some things for the landscaping. It was going to be gorgeous when it was complete. Considering it was still sort of cold out, Bo had designed areas that blocked any elements and wind so that people could still enjoy even having coffee, tea, or specialty hot apple cider.

  When she exited the back door, her eyes on the dumpster and nothing else, she was shocked to see Steve out there. He was on a ladder, standing on the top wrung on tiptoes, trying to work on something on the side of the building that looked broken. He was flexing his muscles, straining to reach something higher up, and the ladder was shaking. As it started to move and wobble, she dropped the bag as he cursed, and she grabbed onto the ladder.

  “Holy crap!” he exclaimed and looked down. When their gazes locked, her heart pounded inside of her chest, and the scowl on his face made her eyes widen and her body shake.

  “Damn, Lauren, thanks.” He quickly recovered, and her fears eased slightly. She held the ladder.

  “Do you mind? I just need to fix this vent, and I’m on the tallest ladder we have here.”

  She nodded and then looked away. She couldn’t stare up at that fierce, bold expression and determined, hard blue eyes. She couldn’t.

  He had so many muscles and tattoos along his arms.

  He struggled a moment, and then she heard him say that he got it.

  As he started to step down, she released the ladder and she walked back to the bag of garbage she’d dropped noticing that it had come open and made a little mess.

  “Damn, I’ll help you with that. It’s my fault,” he said in a tone that made her shake. He sounded forceful, mean, demanding, and kind of snappy to her ears, but she wasn’t sure if she was just over

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  sensitive and overanalyzing every man she met. A second later he was bent down next to her. His thick, hard thigh rubbed against hers and she gasped, pulled back, and stood up.

  “I got it,” she said to him.

  “You helped me, I’ll help you.” He stared at her.

  She wasn’t stupid. She knew he was flirting, thinking he could pull a fast one on her. She took a deep breath and exhaled. His eyes landed on her chest, and she felt her nipples harden. He looked her over and then back at her chest then her eyes. When she turned slightly, she realized that her blouse had come open and showed off her abundant breasts and way too much cleavage. No wonder the man was staring. She’d flashed him. Her cheeks flushed, and she felt like a fifteen-year-old who didn’t know how to act around some gorgeous male. Gorgeous he was and yet not in the traditional manner. He had scruff along his cheeks, a dullness in his eyes, and appeared gloomy.

  She quickly buttoned up her blouse feeling shocked at her body’s dumb response to the good-looking male, and soldier to boot, and she snagged the condensed milk can from his hand then lifted the bag and started throwing it into the garbage.

  “Did you bake pies today? I thought I smelled them earlier,” he said, changing the subject, trying to ease his way in for the kill.

  She narrowed her eyes at him, and when she went to walk away, he sidestepped, and she gulped. He towered over her, and fear clenched her belly. She jumped back, appearing skittish, scared, and he noticed, squinted his eyes, and then appeared as if he was clenching his teeth or pissed off at her reaction to him. She was so stupid and fearful. Damn it, I need to get back inside. He squinted and reached out to touch her.

  “Hey, don’t be scared of me. I don’t know what you heard but don’t.” When he touched her arm, she sidestepped and rubbed it.

  “Don’t touch me, please.”

  He pulled back and then looked her over. “Get back inside,” he ordered, and her eyes widened.

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  He was snappy, mean, and despite her own insecurities and distrust, she was kind of surprised by his words and actions and didn’t know why.

  They stared at one another. Her into his dark blue eyes and him into hers. That scowl began to sort of soften, and she panicked.

  “Lauren, Bo was looking for you. The to-go boxes just arrived,”

  Channing said, entering from the back door.

  She looked at him and then at Steve. She didn’t say a word and hurried past Steve and then Channing to get back inside. Back where she felt safer.

  * * * *

  Steve watched Lauren run scared. Then he looked at Channing, who had a scowl on his face.

  “What did you do or say?” he asked in an accusatory tone.

  “I didn’t do or say anything,” he snapped at Channing.

  Channing exhaled and then looked back through the doorway. He stepped out the rest of the way.

  “Listen, you know she’s Thylane’s cousin. She had some bad experiences. Was held hostage like Thylane was and witnessed Thylane killing the two men that were there.”

  “I heard about that from Finlin.”

  “Yeah well, the part he left out was probably that the two men Thylane killed that had abused them and held them hostage were Lauren’s boyfriends.”

  Steve’s eyes widened, and he was shocked.

  “What?”

  “Yeah, and they were apparently abusive. She’s fearful, and Thylane is hoping that this job, getting back to socializing with people, can help her cousin get her life back together. So don’t fuck around with her, flirt with her, or intimidate.”

  Steve squinted at Channing.

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  Did Channing think that Steve was some asshole, a loose ticking time bomb or something? What the hell. Instead of verbalizing the insulted feeling he had, he nodded his head.

  “So what was the problem up there?” Channing asked, and Steve showed him the part and how the exhaust was blocked.

  “Glad you caught that. It could have been a potential fire hazard.”

  “Exactly. Well, I’m all done with the others stuff, so I’m heading out.”

  “Did you hear from your team? When are they coming back?”

  “I did, and tonight.”

  “Good. Maybe next mission you’ll go along, too.”

  Steve felt insulted. Like maybe Channing and other men looked at him as weak or some nut job about to lose his shit and go postal.

  What the fuck?

  “Maybe,” he mumbled and then turned away to grab his things.

  He glanced back at the doorway and could still smell Lauren’s hair.

  He had been so close. Then he pushed any further thoughts of her from his mind and headed to his truck wondering why the fuck he thought about her and the smell of her hair. What the hell?

  “Thanks for all the help.”

  “No problem. Good luck at the opening.”

  “You’re coming, aren’t you, and the team too?” Channing asked.

  “Maybe.”

  “Not maybe. Bo will freak. She expects you all to stop in.”

  “We’ll see. I’ll discuss it with the others. Take care.” He headed out.

  As he got into his truck he thought about what Channing said about Lauren. She was abused? He knew about the abduction and about the two men being killed by Thylane but not that they were Lauren’s boyfriends, who had abused her long before the abduction and hostage situation. It pissed him off. No woman, no person deserved to be held hostage and beaten, tortured. For some reason it affected him and his heart a moment as he felt something. What the

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  fuck was that? He gripped the steering wheel and stepped on the gas.

  “I’m turning into a fucking pansy,” he said, determined to not feel weak and care.

  He thought of things he could do, activities he could engage in after he went to the store.

  Shooting his gun. Shooting and blowing up shit always made him feel better. He pulled out his cell
phone and called Rossi, one of the commanders in charge of artillery operations and testing.

  “Yo, any way there’s need for some testing to blow shit up? I could use the distraction.”

  Rossi chuckled. “There’s always a need to blow shit up. Meet me in forty minutes.”

  “You bet.”

  He ended the call and exhaled, his focus now on doing something dangerous, manly, soldier-like and empowering, instead of thinking of the smell of Lauren’s hair and that look of fear in her eyes that had hit him in his gut.

  Fuck, this better work. I never care about anything but missions, military, protecting my team, and surviving. I’ve been in survivor mode for months now. What the fuck is happening to me? Fuck.

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  Chapter One

  Thylane ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled. “Dad, you have no choice. You need to do as the lawyers say. It’s the only way to salvage the business,” she said into her cell phone.

  “I just want to be able to give Avana and Tiana their jobs back, and a few others who have been so loyal over the years.”

  “I understand that, but it may not be feasible right now. Besides, they’ll be fine for the next several months financially. I’ll help them out.”

  “You’re already handling the apartment. It isn’t right. This is my job.”

  “Daddy, please, it isn’t your job, and I don’t mind. I’ve made investments over the years, and my art is taking off. I have the event displaying my artwork at the gallery in a week, and I’m working on several other things. Avana and Tiana will be fine, and Lauren seems content in her new position at Happy Endings.”

  “I worry so much about her. Avana said she’s even more closed up and catches Lauren crying. She’s hurting, Thylane.”

  Thylane felt the tear roll down her cheek, and she wiped it away just as she heard the floor creak. When she looked up, there stood Finlin and Pisces. Both of their arms were crossed in front of them, and they looked angry and concerned. She covered her eyes and leaned on her elbows as she held the phone against her ear with her other hand.

  “I’m going to talk to her this week. The grand opening of the café is tomorrow. Once things settle down, I’ll get her to make an

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  appointment with that therapist Cesar recommended. Perhaps it will help.”

  Thylane felt sick to her stomach. Even though she’d been forced to kill Logan and Connor because they were abusive and ready to kill her and Lauren, she still felt guilty. They had been her cousin’s lovers. Men she gave her heart, body, and soul to.

  “I mentioned that to her and that I would go if she needed. She pushed it off.”

  “Like any of us would, Dad. Let me handle it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Are you coming into town for the grand opening?”

  “I don’t know if I should. I caused a lot of additional problems even for your men.”

  She glanced up at Finlin and Pisces. “My men are fine and don’t blame you. They’re helping, as well, so I’ll see you at the grand opening.”

  “Okay. Love you, Thylane.”

  “Love you, too.” She ended the call and then laid her head on her arms on the desk.

  Finlin and Pisces approached.

  “What’s going on now?” Pisces asked in that firm, hard tone.

  “Same things. My dad feeling responsible for failing my cousins and me.”

  “And you feeling responsible and guilty for killing two assholes who needed to die?” Finlin said to her. She lifted her head up and tears filled her eyes.

  “It’s stupid. I know it is, but Lauren loved them so much, and they betrayed her, hurt her, and abused her. How did I not know they were abusing her?”

  Finlin caressed her back and her hair. “Abusers know how to manipulate their prey. Most of the time things occur behind closed doors where no one can hear or see. It’s behind her now. She needs to move on.”

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  “She’s having difficulty doing that. Avana and Tiana told my dad that Lauren’s even quieter and they catch her crying or just staring off. I don’t know if living in Repose is a good thing for her.” She stood up.

  “What do you mean?” Pisces asked.

  “I mean the men, the soldiers around, the ménage relationships, the push for protection from men over women. All of it is a negative for a woman like Lauren who was abused like she was.”

  “I disagree. She needs to feel protected and secure. Out on her own, on some secluded piece of land will make her feel ultra scared and insecure. It will do nothing to build that self-confidence up and make her feel capable. She needs to get empowered and being around you, her sisters and this town are positives to that healing,” Finlin said to her.

  “We’ve seen it several times since coming here ourselves. It’s a special town with extra special people. She needs to get out more and socialize and meet people. Working at the café and bookstore will help. I’m certain of it,” Pisces said to her.

  She worried her bottom lip but couldn’t help but smile at her men.

  They were so supportive and loving.

  “I love you guys, do you know that?” she asked.

  Finlin eyed her over and then snagged her around the waist and hoisted her up against his chest, placing his hand over her ass. “I love you, too, sweetness. In fact, I think I need a little something, something,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

  “Oh really?” she asked as he attacked her neck, suckling and making her giggle before he lowered her to her desk, lifted her skirt to her waist, and then pulled down her panties.

  “Oh yeah. Me, too.” Pisces began to strip.

  “Great fucking timing,” she heard Rusty say as she looked toward the doorway and saw him and Stack enter the room.

  Finlin slid a finger up into her cunt, and she moaned, tilted her head back, and lifted her hips.

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  “Fuck, we need her together. Grab the lube from the bedroom,”

  Pisces yelled to Rusty.

  “No need for that.” Rusty reached behind her and opened the top desk drawer, pulling out a tube of lube.

  “When did you put that there?” Pisces asked.

  Rusty leaned down and kissed Thylane on the lips and then gave her a wink. “Thylane needed a cock in her ass as she worked at the desk the other day, and I made sure she got it.”

  “Holy fuck. Get her to the couch so we can all make love to her together,” Stack said, and she felt her cheeks flush at not only the memory of her lovemaking with Rusty in here yesterday but also the expressions on the others’ faces as they found out why lube was in the drawer.

  Finlin lifted her up but kept stroking her with one finger.

  “Baby, you are so fucking naughty letting Rusty fuck this ass in here. I think we should keep tubes of lube in every room so we don’t waste any time getting inside of this tight, fucking body.” Finlin set her feet down and pulled his fingers from her pussy before he lifted her top up off her and Stack pushed her skirt down. She was naked in no time and placed in the position they wanted.

  Pisces was holding his cock with his legs off the edge of the couch as Finlin lifted her up to straddle his waist.

  Smack.

  She gasped when his hand landed on her ass hard, and then she lifted up.

  “Take him inside of you now,” Finlin demanded, and she did.

  She lowered over Pisces’s cock, gasping for breath as the thick, hard muscle filled her cunt. She was wet, needy, as she started to rock her hips only for Finlin to push gently on her back and press her lower as Pisces widened his thighs, spreading her ass and pussy wider.

  A moment later she felt the cool liquid to her ass then fingers stroking as she rocked up and down on Pisces’s cock.

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  “Sexy lover, your mouth
should not be empty,” Rusty said and brought his cock to her lips. She tilted to the right and licked the tip and then took him into her mouth.

  Behind her, Finlin pulled out his fingers and replaced them with his cock. “I love making love to you in our home. You complete us, baby.” He then slid right into her ass and began to thrust and stroke into her ass.

  They were moaning and panting, thrusting and stroking so hard and fast she felt nervous, but their strength and power so turned her on that she dazed out. Finlin came first and roared and then cursed at coming so damn quickly. He pulled out, and Rusty immediately took his place.

  “This ass is mine. Here we go, baby. Hold on to Pisces,” Rusty said and then slid right into her ass and began a slow steady pace for several strokes before he started to spank her ass and fuck it at the same time.

  She moaned louder and louder.

  “Fuck, I can’t take it. She’s moaning and sucking so hard. Fuck.”

  Stack came in her mouth.

  She swallowed and licked him clean until he pulled back. She cried out her release and gripped onto Pisces as he and Rusty thrust into her ass and pussy, their skin slapping against hers. The perspiration reached her brow, and that sensation deep in her core came to fruition in a roar of an explosive orgasm.

  “I love you.” She fell against Pisces, who held her tight and thrust upward into her cunt.

  Behind her, Rusty thrust and stroked, gripping her hips and pounding into her before he roared and came. Pisces followed, and then, as she exhaled and tried calming her breathing, she felt the teeth and then the suckle against her neck from Rusty. He gripped her hair and whispered into her ear, “I could feast on you all day long.” He then kissed her mouth, plunged his tongue in, and then swatted her ass when he pulled back.

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  She exhaled, falling against Pisces’s chest as Pisces laughed and rubbed her back and her ass. His cock was still inside of her pussy, limp but connected, and she didn’t want to move. She wanted to relish the aftermath of their lovemaking and just embrace their love, this connection, and feel happy to have them in her life and part of her. As she hugged Pisces, her cousins came into her mind, and she wished they could find true love just like this. She wished that Lauren would heal and find compassionate, loving men to help her and to be her rocks. She deserved happiness and to not feel any more pain.