Healing Hearts 6: To Love Again Read online

  Eagan looked at him, trying to keep his expression hard, and he fought against the weakness of sharing his emotions with his brother, a vulnerability he wasn’t sure he was capable of. He resisted. He shook his head. “It’s work related. No can do.” He released the chair and started to walk toward Houston to leave the room.

  “Hey, work related or not, you’re my brother, and if you need to talk, I’m here. I won’t think you’re a fucking pussy either.”

  Eagan squinted at him.

  “Yeah, I know you’re Special Forces and one bad-ass fucking soldier, but you’re human and you do care. I mean at least I think there’s a fucking heart in there,” he teased, and Eagan smirked and shook his head.

  “You’re such an asshole.”

  “You bring it out in me, Eagan.”

  Eagan walked by him. Houston chuckled and followed. “So, plans for tonight?”

  “Nope.”

  “Well, I’m going to be at Gordon’s.”

  “And Miller?”

  “Somehow he’s manipulated his way into having a business dinner with Emma.”

  “What? How?”

  “I don’t have a clue. You know Miller.”

  “Yeah, he’ll scare her, and she’ll think he’s stalking her. Please tell me he hasn’t looked into her financials and her personal life?” Houston gave him a sideways expression.

  “Oh shit. Doesn’t he realize that Emma isn’t like other women? She won’t want his fucking money, or ours. She doesn’t even know you own Gordon’s.”

  “That we own Gordon’s,” he corrected him.

  Eagan had that funny feeling in his gut. The place was really just his brother’s, but then of course, Miller invested money and Eagan gave a little, but it was nothing by comparison. That was Houston’s dream, and he was happy. He had some tough experiences. Had his heart broken by Maggie, who was only after his money and a good time. Thank God Eagan had been on constant missions or she could have tried to put her claws into him, as well. Miller hadn’t fallen for Maggie’s charms. Only because she thought she was better than anyone else and Miller had been more pompous and self-centered at the time. Things were different now. That situation had changed them all.

  “Listen, maybe come by and have a drink.”

  “I don’t know if I’ll be up to it.”

  “The phone call?” he asked, and Eagan nodded.

  “Well, it could take your mind off it for a bit.”

  “It’s not a big deal,” Eagan lied.

  “Okay, well, the invitation is open.”

  Egana nodded and then started making himself something to eat.

  * * * *

  “Are the flowers still alive?” Martin asked Emma over the phone Friday morning. Emma looked at the flowers, still pretty vibrant.

  “Yes, they actually are. Margaret has been coming in and changing the water, and she added a penny to the vase. She said it helps give flowers a longer life. I guess that worked.” She touched the one white rose amongst all the wildflowers.

  “Smart lady. Maybe when I come visit soon I can meet her, and some of your other friends.”

  An uneasy feeling hit her stomach. She thought about her friend’s advice and about Martin maybe wanting her. She also felt guilty. He would find out about Eagan, Miller, and Houston, but she shouldn’t feel guilty because nothing was going on between them. But an attraction was there. There wasn’t one with Martin.

  “Unless you don’t want me visiting,” he said, sounding insulted.

  “I know how busy you are, and I’m doing fine. I have lots of friends and a lot going on with work right now, as well. In fact, I have a busy afternoon and evening. It has been one hell of a week.” She pulled attention away from the whole visiting thing. He didn’t bring it up again, and she was grateful. She really didn’t like this feeling she had.

  “So how is work on your end? Are you still working on that big case?”

  “Yeah, it’s ongoing, but I’m hoping to wrap things up soon. That’s why I thought visiting you would be nice and a distraction. Things are getting harder and harder. It can be frustrating, and I could use a friendly face, a good friend to bounce ideas off of.”

  Now she felt really guilty. Martin had been her rock throughout the whole traumatic incident in losing Westin so tragically. It had been a nightmare. The media stations were covering the story, and she was harassed to no end. Without him and Westin’s family, she wouldn’t have been able to get through it all.

  “I’m here for you, Martin. I don’t know what I can offer but the friendship we have and this closeness we share because of Westin.”

  “That makes me feel so good to hear. I’ll let you get back to your busy day. I have to move it along, too. Hope to talk again soon.”

  “Definitely. Be safe, Martin.”

  “Always, sweetie. Always.”

  Emma ended the call and then leaned back in her chair and sighed. She heard her computer alert indicating another email had come through. She clicked and saw it was from Bailey. She’d left only about thirty minutes ago. As Emma opened the email, she glanced again at the flowers. Bailey had complimented her on them, and Margaret had just entered to refresh and talked about Emma’s nice guy friend from New York who’d sent them. Bailey asked who he was, and Emma wondered if she was inquiring for Miller. He’d texted several times to Bailey while they met for the arrangements for the event. He sounded quite bossy to Emma.

  As she opened the email and read the information, she saw that Miller had changed some things and had questions on certain aspects. Was he serious? This was a pretty simple event, and now she was getting extra nervous about meeting him for dinner. Was he some sort of control freak? Intimidation began to simmer in her belly while she printed out the questions and the aspects of the event and then organized her answers. This was overkill.

  An hour later she freshened up in the lady’s room, looked over the sleeveless black dress she wore with the sheer rose blouse to brighten it up and made her makeup and hair were done perfectly. She looked like she’d stepped out of a magazine with the business attire, and she felt pretty good, but her nerves were getting the better of her. She hadn’t even eaten anything today because of those nerves.

  She packed up her things, along with the file on the event for Miller’s business luncheon, and then headed out of the office. She was still very nervous when leaving, and she looked around the parking lot, had her keys out and between her fingers to use as a possible weapon like Kai had suggested, and hurried to her car. Once she was inside, she quickly locked the doors and took a deep breath then exhaled. She made it to the restaurant and was glad it was close to her place. She was concerned about heading home in the dark to her condo, but what choice did she have?

  She got out and felt a little lightheaded. She was shaking so much, and before she reached the hostess desk, she spotted Miller by the bar. He was dressed in one of his designer suits, and he looked famous, wealthy, out of her league, and also like a man who took what he wanted. Currently a blonde was batting her eyes at him, and he shook his head and looked around the place, stopping right at her.

  “Miss, can I help you?” the hostess asked, but Emma was in a dead stare with Miller. His eyes roamed over her body, and she felt it from this far away. He put his drink down and walked to her.

  “Emma,” he said, bypassing the hostess and pulling Emma into his arms. He kissed her neck, not even her cheek, and inhaled. She inhaled his cologne and enjoyed that comforting sensation she had whenever he or his brothers were close. He pulled back slowly, his arm around her waist and gave her a wink. “You look incredible.”

  “Thank you, Miller.”

  “The table will be ready in a few minutes. How about a drink at the bar?” he asked her as he escorted her there. The blonde gave her the evil eyes and looked at her as if this were some kind of joke. That woman looked fast, on the prowl in her short, tight black dress, stiletto heels, and full lips with too much red lipstick. Emma wondered, under nor
mal circumstances, if that was the kind of woman Miller hooked up with.

  He had his back toward the blonde and offered Emma the seat. “I’ll stand, since the table will be ready soon.”

  “What would you like to drink?”

  “Club soda and lemon please.”

  “I was thinking wine.” He made her feel like she had less class. She hadn’t had a drink since the incident and was worried about the alcohol affecting her head, never mind that she hadn’t eaten all day.

  “What is it? Are you still not feeling well?” He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, his knuckles caressing her skin and making them tingle.

  She held his gaze, unable to turn away from him. “I haven’t eaten all day.”

  A scowl formed on his face. His arm went around her waist, and he pulled her against him.

  “Are you out of your mind? You could pass out, get hurt. Are you having trouble sleeping, being alone and getting over what happened? I can call Ice.”

  “No, no, Miller, it’s okay, and really, it isn’t your worry. I’ll be fine once we eat.”

  He looked angry, and then the hostess said their table was ready. He took his glass off the bar and kept his hand at her back as they walked. Her legs shook, and she felt dizzy and prayed she didn’t pass out. The man might lose it and yell at her. This was so strange. How could she be attracted to such a controlling man? His hand felt good against her back, and the attraction filtered throughout her body. It was incredible. They took seats at a table in the corner, as private as could be at this upscale burger and steak place. She loved the loaded potatoes wedges though, and they were sprinkled with bacon bits, some kind of creamy concoction, and were definitely a naughty treat to have. She had lost several pounds and still wasn’t eating right but surprised she was in the mood for them.

  “So how was your first week back at work?”

  She leaned back and exhaled. “It was long and tiresome. I’m looking forward to sleeping in a little tomorrow morning.”

  He stared at her lips, her eyes, and then the waitress came over. They gave their orders, and she suggested the fries, and he seemed surprised.

  “You come here often?” he asked her then took a sip from the drink he had. Jack Daniels, she thought, but wasn’t sure. He ordered a beer next, and she did, too, both of them bypassing the idea of wine with their burgers.

  They talked about regular things, and she didn’t want to get too personal, so she brought up the event. She pulled the file from the seat next to her and placed it on the table, opening it. She started to explain things, and he leaned closer. She sensed him inhaling against her hair, and she hoped he liked the scent. The waitress brought over the loaded fries, and they picked at them as they talked about the event.

  “You seem very excited about this. How did you get involved with event planning at the Royal Sunset?”

  “I went to college in New York. I have a bachelor’s degree in restaurant and hotel management and a minor in marketing. I also have my MBA, which I finished last year.”

  “Quite impressive. Aren’t you kind of wasting your degrees working in this position?” he asked her, and it surprised her. She stared at him.

  “I’m a people person. Mr. Mather is an excellent boss, and I’ve known him for years. He treats me well and pays me enough to meet my needs and feel comfortable.”

  “What about New York though? You worked for an upscale place making double what you could possibly be making here. Why leave?” he asked, and it surprised her.

  “Wait, how do you know that?”

  His eyes never left hers. He was like a pit bull, a business tycoon that probably had the upper hand over every deal and negotiation because he dug into the person’s past or something. Holy shit. He’d investigated her? She felt annoyed.

  “Do you always snoop around people’s lives and their business?” she asked him, eyes squinted, her temper flaring.

  “I don’t snoop. Information is given to me and easily accessible. I make sure whomever is dealing with my business, my money, is on the up and up and can be trusted.”

  She gasped. “You don’t think I can be trusted? Wait, don’t answer that.” She put her hand up. “You have issues.”

  She looked away from him. It was so hard not to tell him off right now. She felt insulted and also intimidated because he could find out about Westin. He was her secret, her experience and loss, and this wasn’t right to feel this way. She went to move, planning on getting up, when she felt his hand on her thigh under the table. She turned to look up at him.

  “Don’t be insulted. I have a thing about control and about knowing anyone who is part of my life.”

  “I’m organizing a damn luncheon at the hotel for you, Miller. I get it. You and your brothers don’t trust easily. This is also why Houston said he was the manager at Gordon’s, but he isn’t, is he? He owns it?”

  He nodded. She shook her head.

  “And what is Eagan’s hang-up with me? He just along for the ride? To pursue some fantasy interest or something?” She put her hand up. “No, don’t answer that. Forget it. Let’s go over this file and your stupid questions and then be done. I’m tired. It’s been a long week, and I need peace and quiet, not aggravation.” She flipped the pages in the file.

  “Look at me, Emma,” he said firmly, and she felt her insides coil up. She was angry with him. Should shove him away and not bother with his lies, his stupidity, and control, but there was that attraction, that need to know more and want more. She was going to get hurt.

  “Emma Louise Grace, you look at me right now,” he whispered firmly. He knew her damn middle name, too. She was breathing hard through her nostrils when her eyes landed on his. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I suppose Bailey was right. I tend to need to control everything in my life and every aspect. I’ve insulted you, and now you think the worst of me.” He waited for her response.

  “Go on.”

  He seemed surprised. Well, she was surprised, too. Her reaction to him was a combination of submissive and defiance. He brought both out in her.

  He leaned closer and cupped her cheek and jaw. Her lips parted.

  “I’m an idiot. Let’s start over. I looked forward to this dinner date all day.”

  “You did? Or are you just saying that trying to appease me?”

  “I’m not a horrible, heartless person.”

  “You have trust issues, and you need to be in control of everything. You should let go and just see what happens sometimes. Not every woman is going to be impressed with your money, your power, or this demanding attitude you put on.”

  “It is not put on or an act. I can assure you, Emma, my control, my commanding attitude and demands go beyond business and personal life. In fact, they filter into the bedroom, as well.”

  She hadn’t expected that, and he knew it. He took advantage of her shock and pressed his lips to hers.

  She should be pushing him away. Telling him that she wasn’t some easy lay or something. Not like the blonde at the bar or any other woman out there, but he controlled that kiss, and she loved it. When he slowly released her lips, her eyes fluttered open, and he stared at her. “Shocking. You are…amazing.”

  She shyly looked down as the waitress came over to take away the appetizer plates, and they stared at one another until she disappeared. He slid his palm along her crossed legs and squeezed her knee.

  “You shouldn’t have done that. I’m not like the blonde at the bar you were with when I arrived.” Her voice cracked. This man intimidated and angered her because of jealousy she shouldn’t have and yet made her interested, and she shouldn’t be. He went right to sex, to dominating in the bedroom, which definitely aroused her, but that could be because she hadn’t had sex in years. She’d gone through several vibrators and it had still not been enough to satisfy her. Perhaps that was it. Perhaps she was just in need of sex.

  He placed his palm on her chin and made her look up at him. He squinted at her, a serious expression on his
face. “You were jealous of the blonde by the bar? The blonde I was not with?” She turned away and moved her seat a little, apparently shocking him because his eyes widened, and then he glared. She straightened her shoulders.

  “Not jealousy, Miller, but a realistic view of who you are, what you like, what you expect, and I’m not like that. Like her.”

  He stared at Emma, looking confused but then irritated. “What is this? After that kiss you’re playing some game? I’m taking my time here.”

  “Really? Taking your time, huh? First of all, this is a business dinner. Secondly, you made reference to sex and then kissed me. I believe it’s you playing the games. Listen, just forget it and let’s look at these papers, confirm the event once and for all, and be done.” She started to fix her napkin, and then she felt her chair slide close to him fast. She gasped, and he looked determined. He didn’t grab her face, cup it or kiss her, and the thought aroused her. She shook that off. He was breathing hard through his nostrils, and she narrowed her eyes at him. She realized that no woman, perhaps no person, had spoken back to him or denied his control of a situation, conversation, or subject perhaps ever before. She had.

  “This…is not over. This thing between us, I haven’t even gotten started. I don’t know where the hell it went south, but there is no way, no way in damn hell, you’re pushing me away, Emma. No way.”

  He stared into her eyes and then at her lips then back into her eyes, looking wild and sexy, and she could just say screw it and kiss him, but what would he think? That she was playing some game? That she was easy because he was so obviously experienced and sexy and good looking and powerful and… She closed her eyes and exhaled. She heard and felt his whisper close to her lips.

  “I’m sorry. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to handle you.”

  She opened her eyes. He was so close, and in that moment, there was no one but the two of them right there. “First of all, Miller, you don’t need to handle me. I’m not complicated.”

  He snorted. She raised one of her eyebrows up at him.

  “I’m not. I’m actually very easy going, and if you were a little less aggressive, then perhaps I would be more receptive to getting to know you better. However, I don’t know if you’re capable of going slow. Of actually getting to know me, and who I am, what my fears are, and why I need to go slow.”