Healing Hearts 6: To Love Again Read online

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  Emma was nervous. Alone on a large boat with three older, experienced men who each had dominant personalities and, together, were a force impossible to resist. She couldn’t believe the way they’d cornered her downstairs in the boat. A bed mere feet away, their cologne all-consuming and their kisses intense, seasoned like them. She felt in over her head, yet giddy with anticipation. Perhaps she was ready to give romance a chance? She just hadn’t expected to get her feet wet with three men. Of course she had to be attracted to men like Houston, Miller, and Eagan.

  As they prepared to leave dock, she watched Eagan’s muscles stretch and bulge in the tight beige T-shirt he wore. He had on camo shorts, and she could only imagine him in a military uniform. It made her think of Westin and his years in the military before getting shot, retiring, and then joining the police department in New York. She had been through it all with him, even losing fellow officers in the line of duty, but never had she thought she would lose Westin.

  “Hey, you okay?” Miller asked her.

  She was shocked, caught so deeply in thought as the boat was moving. Houston was navigating, and Eagan and Miller stared at her. It was obvious they saw the emotion in her eyes, and she quickly smiled. “Sorry, just a little nervous about being out on a boat. I’ll be fine.”

  “Do you know how to swim?” Eagan asked her in that deep, hard tone of his. He was so authoritative and commanding. Must be because of the military background.

  “Yes, Eagan.”

  “Good, because we have a nice spot picked out for us to go swimming before some lunch,” Miller chimed in. She looked at him, dressed in the white button-down Cuban designer shirt and khaki shorts, his tanned skin and chest muscles showing, and she felt aroused. He gave her a knowing wink, and she looked away and toward Houston. His back was toward hers as he stood steering the vessel, legs parted in a masculine stance, his forearm muscles bulging beneath the tight blue T-shirt he wore, and in his light brown khaki shorts, he looked super fine, especially with the dark sunglasses and the speed and confidence he showed as he sped from the marina. They were on their way to where she didn’t know, but as the sun got stronger and the breeze made her hair messy, she adjusted the style, pulling it all back and up into a bun.

  “Lean back and enjoy the ride, beautiful,” Miller said and handed her a bottle of water.

  She smiled and then leaned back, closed her eyes, and enjoyed the ride. She knew that Miller and Eagan watched her, and she sure hoped she looked sexy and beautiful. She wanted to impress them, to make her see that, despite having very little experience with dates and men, that she could handle them. But could she handle them? Was she heading into a danger zone made to seem erotic, sexy, and successful, or was a ménage just hype? It wasn’t like she had any family. Although she did have Westin’s family, which she hadn’t really spoken to in several months. What would they think? What would they say if she were to get involved with these three men? How disappointed or angry would they be? She felt that pain in the pit of her stomach, and then Faith’s, Brook’s, and Melina’s words of advice. That it was time to move on. That she needed to take this chance and follow her heart. That everything would work out fine, especially if she took her time and was honest with the men.

  How would she explain to them about Westin? How about her relationship with Martin? Where could this lead? Should she just not tell them and try to let go and just take the chance and worry about explaining her fears later? She wasn’t sure but then felt the hand on her thigh, snapping her out of her deep thoughts, and she locked gazes with Miller.

  “You are so incredibly beautiful. I can’t resist you. It’s intriguing.” He reached out to grip her chin as he drew her closer then kissed her as the boat continued on its passage with Eagan on her other side and Houston leading the way into whatever today might bring.

  When Miller released her lips, his expression was dark, and she widened her eyes, and he seemed to gain back whatever control he lost. He leaned back against the cushion as the boat moved along the calm, morning water.

  “So, how do you like working at Royal Sunset?” he asked her.

  “I like it a lot. Everyone is very nice there, and it’s like a family.”

  “I gathered that from knowing Roy for many years.”

  She squinted and stared at him. “You know Mr. Mather that well?”

  “Yes, he’s good friends with one of our fathers, Christian.”

  She bypassed how well he knew her boss and went right to asking about him having fathers. “One of your fathers? How many do you have?”

  He laughed and looked at Eagan. She glanced at him, and he was leaning back, legs wide and confident, and an expression of fierceness she was starting to figure out was his dominant expression.

  “Three. Christian, Michelangelo, and Florentine. Our mom’s name is Alania. She would go crazy over you. No doubt in my mind.” Miller told her, caressing her hair and then stroking under her neck before giving her hair a tug, indicating he wanted her closer to him to kiss him again.

  She complied. How could she not? He was so domineering and sexy. When she leaned closer, he held his ground, wanting her to initiate the kiss. She didn’t know why she felt so nervous, but she was. She placed her hand down for support as the boat hit a few bumps, and she slipped, nearly off the seat, but Miller caught her. He lifted her up into his arms and onto his lap as Eagan slid closer and put his hand on her back so she wouldn’t fall. They both came to her rescue, but then Miller shook his head at her, reprimanding her.

  “You need looking after.” He stroked her jaw then down her chest. He stared into her eyes, and she let him continue his exploration. His long fingers stroked her breast, her nipple, and it hardened. Her lips parted. “Relax. Get used to our touches.”

  She’d focused on the “our” when she felt Eagan’s warm, large palm slide up under her dress along her hip and to the thin strap of her bikini.

  “You’re in excellent shape. Got a fantastic ass. Fantastic everything,” Eagan said, and she drew her eyes away from Miller to see Eagan lean closer. “Kiss me, because you feel what we feel.”

  His tone indicated a challenge. Like he was testing her. Perhaps he was as fearful of this attraction as she felt. She didn’t know, but she lifted up with Miller’s assistance, and she slid her hand to Eagan’s shoulder then cupped his cheek. She stared into his eyes, and the depth of the attraction, the arousal she felt with the two of them touching her, encouraging this attraction, brought tears to her eyes and made previously dormant body parts begin to show life. She brushed her thumb along his lower lip, could see the whiskers and the light shading of beard forming there, making him appear wild and ragged. He was a soldier, and he honestly looked capable of anything. Her nipples hardened, and she gasped as Miller pinched her nipple through her top.

  “Stop teasing my brother, Emma. Give him what he needs, what he craves right now,” Miller commanded.

  Miller slid his thumb back and forth over her hardened nipple. Her pussy clenched, and she leaned up and pressed her lips to Eagan’s and then got lost in his arms and in his kiss for what seemed like minutes. As the boat came to a stop and rocked side to side, Eagan released her lips and held her on his lap. Hands landed on her shoulders, and she looked up, and there was Houston.

  “Do I get a kiss for getting us here safe and sound?” He lowered down, and she tilted her head up and her chin back as Houston pressed his lips to hers. She felt Eagan’s palm under her dress still caressing her thigh back and forth, and she felt hot, in need of something cold to cool her down. Houston released her lips.

  “You are quite welcome.” He winked. “Check out the view.”

  She forced her dazed mind to where he pointed past Eagan, and she was surprised indeed. They were at a private cove, with an empty beach and small island. No one was around them, making her think naughty thoughts, and then came the hesitation of how far she could go with them before guilt and panic sank in.

  “How
about we lie out, get nice and hot, then take a dip before lunch?” Miller suggested, undoing his shirt and revealing all those muscles she knew he had. She stood up with Eagan’s help, and he reached for her dress as he remained sitting, with her standing between his legs.

  “Need help undressing?” He licked his lower lip.

  “I think I can handle it.” Her cheeks warmed, and as she lifted the dress up and over her head, his hands slid along her thighs to her hips.

  Miller whistled low, and all three men stared at her body. She felt a little self-conscious because she’d lost a lot of weight after the incident and was still trying to get back into eating right. Then none of it mattered as Eagan pressed his lips to her belly as he gripped her hips.

  “A tattoo?” Miller questioned, stroking a finger along her hip then lower.

  “Just a little one.” She stepped from Eagan’s hold and Miller’s touch, only to see Houston standing there in only his shorts, muscles galore with dips and ridges and a super hard physique, and she remembered hearing he was a boxer. He eyed her over.

  “That belly ring is damn sexy, Emma. Come over here so I can get a better look at that tattoo,” he said firmly. She walked closer, and he lowered down, stroked along the tiny set of daisies. “So glad that you’re here with us,” he whispered and pressed his lips to her skin before standing up straight again. “Now, check this out.”

  He and Eagan pulled out the seats they were sitting on and they turned into long lounges they could lie on.

  “Nice,” she said.

  “Sunblock for you. Don’t want that perfect skin getting sunburn and giving you discomfort,” Miller told her as he stood there with sunscreen in his hand.

  “I applied some this morning before we left.”

  “I’ll apply more,” he told her, and her belly quivered.

  Was this another indication of Miller’s need for control of everything? She walked closer, taking in the sight of all those sexy muscles, and then he began to rub lotion onto her skin.

  “Let me help,” Eagan said, and then both men were rubbing, stroking, caressing her body, and she felt about ready to come. When they were done, Miller looked her over.

  “Perfect, now let’s relax.”

  They began to get comfortable in the sun, and Houston started talking about Gordon’s and the band that was playing today and tonight. Their conversations went into music and then food.

  “Do you enjoy cooking?” Houston asked her.

  “I love to try different things, and I took a class once at Armania, when they offered a cooking course at the restaurant.”

  “Love that place. Perrin Marque is a fabulous chef. He does private catering for small dinner parties, as well. Did you enjoy the course?” Miller asked her.

  She was surprised that he knew the owner, but she shouldn’t be. Apparently they’d lived in this area for most of their lives.

  “Yes, I enjoyed it, but I tend to stray from a recipe. You know, add things I think would enhance it or are to my tastes.”

  “A rule breaker, huh?” Houston teased and stroked her thigh.

  “I can be sometimes,” she flirted back, and he rolled to his side, slid his palm along her belly, and half covered her with his body. She gasped at the sensations. At the feel of a large, heavy man over her flesh, especially erotic since she wore only a bikini and he wore just shorts. He caressed her cheek and held her gaze, and then his eyes roamed over her breasts in the green bikini she wore, which they kept complimenting her on.

  “I think there’s a wild side to you, Emma. A naughty, dirty wild side,” he whispered before scattering kisses along her lips, her cheeks, and then her neck. She tilted her chin up, giving him better access to her neck and then felt his palm cup her breast.

  “Houston.”

  His lips stopped her protests of slowing down, and really she didn’t want slow. She wanted to feel more of these sensations. Protection, care, a man’s masculinity times three bombarding her with their sexiness and defeating her guilt and fears. She moaned into his mouth and then felt his hard erection against her inner thigh. He was between her legs, rocking his hips against her. She ran her fingers through his hair, and he slid the strap of her bikini top down and moved his mouth off her lips and right to her breast. He sucked hard, and she moaned and gripped his shoulders.

  “Houston!” she cried out and came.

  “Holy fuck.”

  She heard Eagan’s voice and then felt Houston rocking his hips, his cock against her sensitive mound. He was adjusting his position when she felt his fingers trying to push aside her bottoms, and she panicked. She feared being intimate with him, with them. She thought about Westin, about feeling too much and getting hurt.

  “Houston, stop. Stop, please. I can’t.” She was pushing against his shoulders. He immediately stopped, released her nipple with a “plop” and stared at her, red-faced, eyes wild, hair a mess. She was gasping for breath, and tears rolled from her eyes.

  “What is it? What did I do? Did I scare you?” he asked, sounding panicked, and she shook her head and then hugged him to her.

  “I’ll crush you,” he said to her, and she squeezed tighter.

  “I’m so sorry. It’s been a long time. Such a long time. I want to feel more from each of you. I do, but I’m scared to get hurt. I can’t be maybe what you three are used to.”

  Eagan and Miller were right there as Houston lifted up and fixed her top but remained between her legs.

  “What do you mean what we’re used to?”

  “Like the women who throw themselves at you at Gordon’s.” She looked at Miller. “Like the blonde, licking her lips, looking to land you in bed or just give of her body and get nothing in return.”

  “We aren’t like that,” Houston reprimanded. He was insulted, and she closed her eyes and exhaled. She blinked them open.

  “What game are you playing?” Miller asked in a demanding tone.

  “It isn’t a game, Miller. Can’t you see she is shaken up, definitely intimidated by us?” Eagan said.

  “It isn’t a game. Please let me up. Please, Houston.”

  “No. Not until you explain what you mean by it being a while. I want to know why it’s been so long. Why you are so scared to take a chance with us?” Houston demanded to know.

  “Is it that guy from New York that sent you flowers?” Miller snapped at her.

  “What guy from New York?” Eagan asked.

  “Some old friend or someone sent her gorgeous flowers on Monday wishing her well coming back to work. She said he was just a friend,” Miller told them.

  “He is just a friend. A good one, Miller. I didn’t lie about that. There isn’t anything between Martin and me but friendship.”

  He made a noise.

  She stared up into his dark blue eyes. Actually loved the feel of his extra-large heavy, muscular body against hers, and she exhaled.

  “Why are you resistant to this attraction, to us?”

  “I haven’t been with anyone, haven’t let another man kiss me or even dated anyone for almost four years.”

  “What?” Miller asked, but Houston remained quiet and serious, as did Eagan.

  “Who was he?” Houston asked.

  “Who was he?” Miller asked frantically. He was really freaking out, and it made her more nervous. Miller definitely had control issues and seemed possessive instantly.

  “His name was Westin. He was the love of my life, the only lover I ever had. We were going to get married once we established our careers, but he died.”

  “How?” Houston asked as Eagan remained straight-faced and Miller had a scowl on his face.

  “He was a detective in the NYPD. A Marine before that. He was killed during some kind of raid, along with an informant.” Tears flowed.

  “I’m so sorry, baby,” Houston whispered.

  She swallowed hard. “I never expected to have feelings for another man again. I truly didn’t. My heart was so broken, Houston. And I fear getting hurt and openi
ng it up to anyone despite how strong this attraction is.”

  He stroked her cheek. “I know what you mean.” She closed her eyes. “No, look at me, baby.”

  She opened her eyes, wondering what he could possibly say or have experienced to understand.

  “I fell in love with a woman about two years ago. I thought she was the one.”

  She was instantly jealous. It made her realize how they must feel about her telling them about Westin. But they would need to know the truth.

  “I couldn’t wait to introduce her to Miller and Eagan, but Eagan was active duty and gone all the time, and Miller had no interest in settling down or even considering it, and he saw through her act.”

  “Her act?” she asked.

  “She was after my money, the bar, Gordon’s, our wealth really.”

  “No,” she said in shock and caressed his cheek and then thought about what he’d said. She pulled back.

  “Oh my God, that’s why you said you were a manager, not the owner. You thought the same thing about me,” she said, feeling insulted, and she pushed against his shoulders, but he pressed more of his weight against her.

  “You aren’t her. I know that. I can feel it, plus my brothers are attracted to you, too, and we are all scared to take this chance and risk broken hearts.”

  “Let me up, Houston.” He didn’t move. “Houston.”

  He exhaled and slowly got up. He offered her a hand, and she stood up and fixed her bikini top as the three men watched her. She reached for her dress, and Miller grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

  “What are you doing?”

  She stared up at him. Her lips parted, and she felt so aroused. Did any of this really matter? Did the distrust, the uncertainty need to stand in the way here?

  “I think we’re moving too fast and should really slow things down.”

  He pulled her into his arms. One hand landed on her ass, keeping her against him and arousing her further, and his other hand went under her hair and against her neck. “Forget everything else. How do you feel right now? In my arms, with hardly anything on and with my brothers right here next to you, wanting you like I do? How?”