What Love Feels Like Read online

  “Tell us, baby. Tell us and we can help. We can protect you,” Seren said to her and gave her hip a squeeze.

  She shook her head slowly. “Why did you kiss me? What do you want from me? I won’t be some game you play, some sort of entertainment for you and your brothers. I won’t.”

  “Now, you know that’s not what’s going on here. We’re older—”

  “Yes, you are, Seren. A lot older, more experienced, and definitely after something. You’re good at kissing, at touching, saying the right things at the right time, but when does the pain start? The betrayal, the agenda you all have? When?” she asked, her voice raised.

  “God damn, who hurt you? Who, damn it? Tell us,” Seren demanded. She pulled away from them, turned, and walked toward the small kitchen. The place was compact, and nothing was full size. Not the oven, the refrigerator, or the stove. There was a small two-person table, and men their size were even too big just standing in here.

  “Please go. It’s been a long day. I’m tired and I have work tomorrow night.”

  “We aren’t going anywhere. Not yet. Not until we talk about this,” Seren told her.

  “No, Seren, I don’t want to talk about anything. I shouldn’t have let this happen.”

  “That was out of your control and ours. We like you, want to get to know you better, and obviously you feel the same way. It’s pretty damn simple,” Colby told her with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

  “Maybe for you, but not for me.”

  “Why? Why isn’t it simple? We go out on a few dates, spend time together getting to know one another.”

  “I don’t know about that stuff. I’ve been alone and got used to it, that’s all. I think it’s better I stay alone. I need to work, make money, and stay focused.”

  “No better way to stay focused than to have good men like us supporting you,” Seren said, and he walked closer. She stepped back, and he made a noise as he reached out and took her hand. “Don’t you ever fear me or my brothers. Not a flinch, a pull away, not ever, darling. We’ll do this slow. Real slow if it scares you so much.” She looked up at him, and he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her skin. He trailed his mouth along her wrist, then up her arm and stepped closer. “Take a chance and trust us, and when you’re ready to explain things, we’ll be there to listen and to help any way we can.”

  “You make it sound so easy. God, God, I wish it were that easy,” she said and lowered her head.

  He pulled her close, pressed her head against his chest, and remained holding her hand. “It can be that easy. I promise you, we aren’t going anywhere.”

  “My brother is right. We aren’t. We’re older, have more experience in life, in relationships, in solving problems and dealing with danger. You let go, and we’ll catch you,” Colby told her.

  She lifted her head up to look at them. Her palms were against Seren’s chest, and she was shaking, he could feel it. “And if I can’t let go? If I can’t take the chance on you—”

  Colby shook his head, reached out, and stroked her cheek with his knuckles. He gave a soft smile. “You’ll do it. We’ll earn your trust, and you’ll confide in us. Together, we’ll make it all better.”

  Seren cupped her cheek and lowered his mouth to hers. She kissed him back, squeezed his arm until he released her lips, and then Colby kissed her. Their woman was in some kind of trouble, and they were going to find out what that trouble was and eliminate it.

  Jade exhaled when Seren and Colby finally headed out. She couldn’t believe the series of events, nor the excited, giddy feeling she had inside right now. She pushed off the door and felt the smile, that upbeat emotion, and paused. She ran her hand along her cheeks and shook her head. Was this real? Could she find happiness in a relationship with Seren and Colby? Oh God, they were so much older, and their hard muscles covered their big bodies. Not to mention, she knew very little about them.

  She walked into the bathroom to get ready for a nice, hot shower, though the chill was gone and replaced with warmth and desire for more caresses and kisses from the two men. She shook her head. This was what women felt like when men claimed women in Cherry Hill.

  She stopped short. Looked at herself in the mirror in the bathroom. Did they want to claim her as their woman? Claim guardianship of her? Guardianship? The tears instantly formed in her eyes. Her nose clogged up with emotion. Jade covered her mouth at the realization that two men, two good-looking, sexy men could want to claim her as their woman. Actually possess her in that way, maybe even love her. She closed her eyes, and her heart ached. What did she know about love? How would she know if this was real? No one ever loved her. Really loved her. Her own parents sure didn’t. Her sister? Forget about Allie. Allie went where the money was, where the attention was, where Daddy told her to go.

  She couldn’t tell Seren and Colby about her life, about her being part of a business deal and her father wanting to sell her off to Coleman Mathews in a deal. She couldn’t tell them about Allie and her life, her choice, and where it got her. She couldn’t tell them about the illegal racing and illegal fights her family was involved in, or how she knew so much about cars, fixing them, driving them, hell, racing whenever she had the chance. Her father forced her to stop when the men were looking at her body more than her driving abilities. She was all of about sixteen and sporting these. She cupped her breasts, sliding her thumb along the nipple like Colby had done. Of course, the effect was nothing like when he did it.

  She gripped the sink and blinked her teary eyes as her heart ached and raced. “Could they really want me? Could this be a new life? A new start, with the past, my family, the danger, all behind me? Could it?” she asked, and her voice cracked. She hung her head, closed her eyes, and prayed that this was more than just chemistry and attraction. That they were more. That they could be trusted.

  How could she let go with them like they asked? How could she lower the guard around her heart or her body, when they pulled so much out of her? She never had sex before. Never explored a man’s body, just pushed men off of her as they tried to force things on her. That night she was attacked, beaten, and ordered to comply, to be Coleman’s woman, she wanted to die. She was so scared, more scared than when she was on the run, on her own, recovering and trying to find food, shelter, and a safe place to rest her head. Those sleepless nights filled with the fears that someone might attack her, rape her, or trick her would never be forgotten. She still slept with a light on, with a bat by her bed, never having a peaceful night, and always worrying about them finding her. How could she let all that go? How could she trust these men with her story, her embarrassing life, and the pain she went through? How?

  She gulped down the lump of emotion and stepped back to turn on the shower. She undressed the rest of the way, then grabbed her pretty floral shower curtain. She found it at a yard sale for two dollars, and the matching curtain rings and the floor mat she found at a different yard sale. A few other things around the bathroom she had purchased all for under twenty dollars in an attempt to feel normal. To show some normalcy in case someone visited her at her apartment. She didn’t want them knowing she was poor, struggling, living day by day. This was the good life, being able to afford three meals a day, and she didn’t even do that most times. Her mind was always focusing on the what if’s, the rainy day plans, the get out of dodge mentality imbedded in her head because of her fears.

  She stepped into the shower, where the warm water cascaded over her body. She thought of Seren and Colby and whether they could be as perfect as she hoped they were and as loyal, as truthful, and as capable as she would need them to be if she were to tell them what happened in her life and why she was so scared. If she was wrong and they were lying, not only would she lose her virginity, she would have her heart broken and that would probably feel just as terrible as the betrayal she felt when her father ordered her to become Coleman’s possession.

  Chapter 5

  “Kill him!” Flynn yelled, and Gordo took the shot, hi
tting the second security guard right in the chest. The older man fell backward, and they both ran to the truck.

  “We have all of about five minutes tops to get this hit loaded up. Take the high-end quads and the dirt bikes. Let’s move,” Gordo ordered, and the four other men with them quickly started to move the bikes and other stolen merchandise onto the truck.

  “This is more than Rodeo ordered,” Flynn said as they closed up the doors.

  “He’ll need it. He owes Coleman big time.” Gordo said.

  They hurried up into the truck and took off with the rest of the crew following. A quick look in the rearview mirror, and Flynn exhaled. “That wasn’t so bad.”

  “Wasn’t so bad? We killed those guards. That’s fucking murder besides grand larceny. Fucking Rodeo better give us a damn bonus for this shit.”

  “Gordo, you know he won’t. This was for him to sell off to make some cash to pay Coleman and find the next race.”

  “So, we do all the dirty work, and we don’t get shit but to save his ass? That’s bullshit.”

  “Hey, have I ever gotten us fucked over?”

  “No, Flynn, but by the way your lips are attached to Rodeo’s ass I’m beginning to worry.”

  Flynn chuckled. “My lips aren’t against his ass, number one, and number two, why do you think I took the extra five bikes? The ones that go for thirty thousand a piece?”

  “To kiss Rodeo’s ass even more.”

  “No, for us to take and sell.”

  Gordo’s eyes widened. “What?”

  “Yeah, that’s our own little piece of this action, and I got a buyer lined up. We’ll stop at the warehouse on Main Street. Coast and Evan will remove the serial numbers and replace them with new ones.”

  “What about these guys?” he asked, referring to the men that assisted tonight.

  “They get a cut in the action, which is more than Rodeo gives. Most of them are in trouble, have bad habits, you know? Drugs and shit. That’s their motivation for doing these jobs.”

  “Holy shit, you think we’ll get away with it?”

  “I have in the past,” Flynn said with a shrug. “Trust me, Rodeo is losing his fucking mind. He’s snorting coke, smoking other crap, fucking everything in a skirt, and barely keeping his side of the business together. Soon enough, we’ll be working with Coleman under his operation.”

  “Are you out of your mind? No one ever backstabs him or pulls jobs like this skimming off the top to a man like Coleman.”

  “Won’t be any need to. We’ll have money stashed, and Coleman pays his guys good money and treats them well. Ever see Darian’s ride? A fucking hundred thousand dollar Mercedes coupe. That shit is fly,” Flynn said, and gave Gordo’s chest a slap as he smiled and drove the truck.

  “Holy shit, you’ve really planned this out.”

  He glanced at Gordo. “For the two of us. I’m bringing you with me. We’ve been through it all, Gordo. We stick together, because we trust one another and have one another’s backs. So, you’re in, right?”

  “Fuck yeah, I’m in. Where you go, whatever you say, I’ll follow.”

  Flynn nodded. “We’re going to make a shit load of money tonight, and soon enough we’ll be driving one of those fancy sports cars and be treated with respect like Coleman’s men. You’ll see,” he said confidently, and Gordo smiled.

  “Let’s do this,” Gordo said.

  Twenty minutes later, they were pulling into a parking lot by a warehouse and beer distributor. “How did you come across this guy?” Gordo asked Flynn.

  “A friend of mine.”

  “Is he legit? I mean, you trust him not to call the cops?”

  “Let’s just say besides being a major beer distributor across Texas, he’s into some dangerous shit. Always looking for the thrill of the chase, the hunt. These particular bikes will help for one of his clients’ adventures, and they don’t want to pay full price. It’s as simple as that.”

  Flynn reversed the truck back against the delivery garage and then climbed out. He was met by the man himself.

  “Everything going well tonight?” he asked as Flynn shook his hand.

  “It’s going perfectly as planned, Turner. How about you? Still heading out for that hunting trip?”

  “As soon as we complete our little deal. Let’s see the merchandise,” Turner said, and Gordo lifted the back door of the truck and Turner smiled. “I got your money. Right here and cash, too. Because you got them so quickly, the clients paid twenty each instead of fifteen.”

  “Very nice,” Flynn said as Turner handed over the money, while Gordo and the guys pulled out the brand new dirt bikes. “Remember to wipe put those serial numbers and get them replaced.”

  “I have a guy, no problem. Talk to you soon, and maybe we’ll do business again.”

  “Definitely.”

  Flynn and Gordo wrapped things up and got out of there quickly. He handed the envelope to Gordo.

  “A hundred grand? Right here, all ours?” Gordo asked him.

  “Twenty gets disturbed to the guys to keep their mouths shut.”

  “So, forty and forty?” Gordo asked and looked at the money.

  “Fifty and thirty this time, Gordo, and that’s giving you a lot considering you didn’t know about this deal and we were officially partnering up.”

  Gordo squinted at him and then smiled. “Fuck it. I’m fine with that. I wasn’t expecting shit from tonight’s job and this is the best fucking surprise ever.”

  “Good. Next time it’s fifty/fifty,” Flynn said. Gordo laughed and smiled as he bounced in the seat. Flynn laughed now, too. “We are going to be rich before you know it, so get ready and be smart. Now, put that away for safekeeping. We have to drop these bikes off, and then we’re done and can celebrate.”

  “Sounds like she was really down and out, yet she gave that woman money, like she had it to share?” Quincy asked Colby. They were all sitting in the living room in their end of the house.

  “She sure did, and I swear it was like she knew what it felt like to not be safe, to not have a roof over her head or to get a meal. I was thinking about it last night after we left her place. She felt the attraction, but that wall was still up. I could see the fear in her eyes,” Colby said.

  “Definitely, and knowing that you found her shopping in the bargain store near the shelter concerns me, as well. She could still be struggling with paying for the apartment, then food, and now working two jobs. Mom mentioned that she’s been wearing the same clothes to work,” Seren said.

  “I did notice that. Shit, that was why she probably went into Coldsberry to hit those stores. They’re for people who are struggling,” Quincy stated.

  “It can’t be. There’s no way. She’s too put together and classy,” Shane said, then took a sip of his beer.

  “I’m telling you, she connected with that woman in a way that only someone who experienced being down and out, homeless, and struggling would understand. My gut is never wrong,” Colby added.

  “What kind of trouble could she be in that she doesn’t want her name in the system or to be paid on the books? Criminal?” Shane asked.

  “No, I’m thinking if it was something criminal, then she would really be pushing away from Seren,” Quincy said.

  “I agree,” Colby added.

  “Definitely not criminal, and I’m not looking her up. I’m hoping she confides in me. The last thing I want to do is bring danger her way,” Seren replied.

  “I still think the sheriff should be talking to her,” Shane said.

  “I asked him to give me time. I spoke to him last night after we left her place,” Seren said.